Friday, May 27, 2011

The Clutter is Coming! The Clutter is Coming!

Where's Paul Revere when you need him?

I could see it in the distance; things that were once cleared off were starting to get piles of stuff all over it again. A thin film of dust began to gather at the corners of the room, slowly making their way like grey lava covering over my shelves and knick-knacks.

The clutter is coming!

Things start showing up all over the house in the wrong places- like the cat nail clippers in the bathroom, our new crock pot in the living room, and bath towels in the kitchen. What is going on here?

The clutter is coming!

No one can find anything. Our cats start disappearing, finding new places to hide in the boxes, bags and other stuff that was never put away. Even the carpeting is missing, covered by schoolwork and recycling papers that were never put in the bin. Keys slip between papers and disappear, dishes are no longer found in the cupboards- but wait! Here they are- in the sink!

The clutter is..... HERE!

Disaster strikes as I can no longer function in a kitchen where I can't move. My husband pulled out a drawer to fix it, but ran out of time, and placed it onto the floor. Meanwhile I spend a fortune on band-aids for stubbed toes and banged shins, because our two-butt kitchen is even smaller with this precious space taken up.

The living room and dining room are no better. Cat-hair tumbleweeds blow by and are ignored by the kids (who are supposed to be caring for our kitties), and hissed at by the cats because they think these things are other animals invading their territory. Dirty socks are strewn about like confetti, making the unseen carpet much more cushy to walk on, and giving the room an aura that would kill a goat. Especially when my son contributes to the pile. Puberty has lent him Boy Funk powers that would rival Marvel's super hero characters. Or maybe the villains?

The clutter is....everywhere!

What if the clutter is clean? Does it still count as clutter? It does of you can't get out of your own bedroom because you didn't have time to fold all the laundry! The towels alone would take a month to fold, and don't forget the Christmas wrap you never put away or the totes filled with the kids summer/winter wardrobe that you just switched out. Who wants to clean when it took you three hours just to get out of the bedroom? Forget about folding the clothes- by the time you're done, it'll be fall and you have to put them away again. It's summer- do they really need to wear anything other than a bathing suit? Nah.

I've read tons of books on decluttering. I've done decluttering. I'm still doing decluttering. But there's one thing I admit I have never done on a constant basis. Maintaining. I wait until I'm sick of looking at the mess before I do anything. It like being a bad matador- he waits until the bull is in full charge before he does something drastic, instead of keeping the beast from being ticked off in the first place. And right now, my clutter is much like a very angry bull!

But guess what? The clutter is...leaving!

Starting this weekend, I'm going to begin the decluttering process again. I won't have to start from scratch like last time, so things should go fairly quickly- maybe a few weekends. But if the family kicks in and starts to maintain with me, I might just have a neater house! Just watch though- the moment I get this place in order, we'll have to move!


Kristin Bridgman said...

Laughing! We have a two-butt kitchen too and we have dog hair tumbleweeds. I sweep the floors and the dog but they keep coming.
May the cleaning force be with you and may you all maintain well! :)
Blessings. . .(still chuckling:)

Keith Wallis said...

Ask the wife - I can do clutter, I inheritted the ability from my children !
Not wishing to rain on the American parade but Paul Revere didn't make it across the finishing line. It's only in Longfellow's poem that he warned his compatriots of the coming Brits. In fact the Brits caught him and stole his horse before he was able to give the news. He was one of a number of riders who started out - others made it, he didn't. The poem was written to be inspirational during the later civil war. An unsuccessful attempt to courtmarshal Revere for insubordination was made subsequent to a disterous battle at Penobscot - a court case fuelled by the mutual hatred between him and Peleg Wadsworth. Ironically Longfellows middle name is Wadsworth as he was a descendant of Peleg !!

Cecilia Marie Pulliam said...

Interesting history snippet, Keith. Isn't life interesting?

Good luck on the clutter. My husband and I are such a clean freaks clutter is minimal at our house. That too has some undesired side effects, however. I don't dare set a glass on the kitchen counter with the intent of reusing said glass later without announcing to the Kitchen Police (my husband) "Do not touch this glass or you will have a grumpy wife!" Then I know my glass will remain where I put it so I can refill it after a brief dash to do some other task. Great post. Reminds me of my kids' rooms when they were still living at home.

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