My husband drives me crazy.
Not because he doesn't do anything around the house, or isn't my moral support, or doesn't help with a kids, cooking, and chores- He does all of that. In fact, he's a better wife than I am, simply because he can do everything by the time I get out of bed- and we wake up at the same time.
He drives me crazy because he's a genius. He knows exactly what to do to shut me up.
We have issues as to what exactly constitutes a good breakfast. I think of eggs, waffles or cereal, and he thinks of sticky buns, doughnuts and rice pudding. Homemade rice pudding. He considers it healthier than rice krispies, but then I add that the kids can add bananas to the cereal, thus making it better for them. So the next time I come down to see what they're eating, I see rice pudding- with raisins tossed in.
Now I can't say anything in rebuttal, because the dang pudding had fruit.
Apple pie? Put raisins in it. Bland cereal? Put raisins in it. Life is sweeter (and healthier) when you toss in some raisins. Tastes better too.
Another thing that makes me nuts is that he doesn't clean up after himself when he cooks. Every pot, pan, bowl, and kitchen gadget has been used to make his creations, and he leaves me the mess. I cook, I clean up, he cooks, I clean up. I pointed this out to him several times, and sometimes he would clean up the mess. Sometimes. But then he found a way around it.
He makes me goodies.
This is done after dinner to distract me from seeing what he did to the kitchen. By the time I'm done being distracted, I forget all about the mess and wind up going to bed without stepping a foot past the dining room. Morning comes, the sun rises; and by the time I find out what he's done, he's long gone at work.
Last night was a perfect example.
He offered to make dinner. I foolishly let him, enjoying the time off. We ate dinner while watching a movie, and afterwards he decided to throw something together to snack on. He made something with reduced-down raspberry jam and homemade hot fudge. I didn't even have to move- he served me my little tidbit as I sat on the couch. I was Queen for the Evening, and I reveled in it, foolish mortal that I was.
This morning I came down to find the kids eating rice pudding (with raisins). I just sighed and went into the kitchen. I stopped dead in my tracks. My clean kitchen was no longer- in it's place was a nuclear bomb site, complete with a crusted over rice pudding pot, last night's dirty dishes, and every appliance used to make the stew we had for dinner.
Did I scream? No. Did I howl in frustration? Nope. I just pictured the raspberry chocolate goodies in the fridge, and I'd eat some after I'd cleaned up this mess. And who knows? Maybe I'll toss in a few raisins just to see if it tastes better. He got away with it again, and made me smile in the process!
Yes, my husband drives me crazy, but he truly is a genius. The worst kind of genius too- one that knows when to toss in some raisins!