Monday, March 18, 2013

The List

It's time.

Spring is coming, and that sleepy bear feeling must leave the house in favor of open windows, bird song and fresh air.

In other words, indoor house work now becomes outdoor housework. Fresh air my left foot!

Not only do I still have to do the cleaning, cooking, and care on the inside of the house, but now I have to give up my extra naps and bon-bon eating to spend time outside, cleaning up after the bad habits of a very dirty world. Leaves dropped by lazy trees have piled up in places where the wind blew them, clogging drains and gutters alike. Branches and sticks poke out from the lawn, whacking me on my shins when I step on the just right. And those birds chirping outside my window? Well, it's great for Kitty TV, but now I have to add scrubbing down the deck rails to my List O' Torture.

Oh yes my dears, there is a List. A long, never-ending list of Things I Have To Do. The List O' Torture. The List of More To Do Than Can Ever Be Done. And life is not a circle either- it's a big dang list of stuff I need to complete before I die.

Part of me wonders that if I do die with an uncompleted list, do I have to finish the list before I get to heaven, or does the List get passed down to my kids? Kinda hoping it's the latter one, but the former would explain why people see ghosts- and why those ghosts seem really grumpy.

My kids have lists too, and so does my husband- but his list is even longer than mine, and I wouldn't trade with him for the universe. Ever. He's the guy that cleans the gutters for me because I'm afraid of heights- and not just a little afraid either- I panic when I'm more than two feet off the ground.

I can cross off bungee jumping and zip line rides off the vacation list anyway. I don't think they possess enough rubber or cable to take a lady of my size on- and survive the experience!

One thing I'm looking forward to is the warmer weather- sunny skies don't make the list seem so bad. Raking tree poop in the sunshine gives my poor vitamin-D deficient body a chance to soak up some vitamins- the minerals will come from breathing in the tree poop dust as I rake it into a compost pile. 

And the birds. Oh, those little mess-makers I never gave birth to...

Don't get me wrong, I love birds. I just wish there was a better way of using their leavings than decorating my deck rails. If I could, it would all go into the compost pile- maybe if I put a feeder over the compost? The idea has merit. I also like hummingbirds and was thinking of putting a feeder near the Kitty TV window- so they get the Hummingbird Channel most of the day. I plan on adding little signs to the feeder that say 'Bees, Keep Out!' just so they won't take the food meant for the birds. Or sting me.

I think I ought to invent a bird poo picker upper, because this tiny broom and scoop just ain't doing the job.

Now I need to add 'Invent Stuff' to my List. Sigh.

Spring has sprung, the grass has risen, do you wonder why my List is missin'?


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