I often find myself wondering what God wants. He moves me in a certain direction, then it seems like He blocks my path. Then I wonder if I was going the wrong way in the first place, and maybe I just read His hints wrong.
So what does He really want me to do? Or is He just messing with my head?
I believe that God does have a great sense of humor- after all, when Darwin had his "big idea" on evolution, God showed him a platypus- but I don't think He messes with us to just mess with us- He's trying to teach us something.
For instance, say He wants me to go to point B. Now He knows I'll resist going to point B because I'm stubborn, so He decides that instead of knocking me over the head with a brick and bestowing His wisdom on me, the lesson might stick better if I go to point A first- even if point A isn't where He really wants me to be. I follow him happily to point A, and when I'm almost there, He changes the direction by blocking the pathway to point A. I can see it, but I can't get there. So I look for another route.
Guess where He's going to send me?
I go to point B, thinking it's a rest stop, then find out this is way cooler that point A ever was. Which is exactly where God wants me. And I'm none the wiser, foolish mortal that I am.
Sometimes the blockage is a redirection, but sometimes it's a test. Let's say He really wants me at point A. I follow happily, but then there's that blockade again. But He leaves a crack in the blockade. I can see the light shining through, and as I look around, I find a hammer and a chisel. He gives me a way to get to the goal, He just makes me work for it. God doesn't usually just hand us stuff without working for it, you know. We'd get spoiled, and He doesn't want brats in His kingdom.
Often I misread where He wants me to be. He wants me to be at point B, but I see A and C and go my own way, thinking that's where He wants me. Then I dig in and don't want to come out. Something big has to happen before I'll move. So there. Nyah.
It's a good thing God is patient. He's also good at doing big things to dislodge thick-headed boobs from their hidey-holes.
I'm still not quite sure where He wants me yet, but I've learned this- if there's a blockage, I look for the right tools to break through. If there isn't a way out (that God has provided or hasn't shown me yet), then I look for another path. Instead of pummeling the walls of the blockade, I save my strength for the journey ahead, trying (but not always succeeding) to see where He is leading me. I know He'll get me there eventually!