Monday, April 6, 2015

The Bible- Then and Now

If Jesus had come now instead of 'way back when', He might have had to do things a little differently....

"She's a virgin? Yeah, right. Lets do a physical and DNA tests and see who the real father is."

Jesus' parents wouldn't have had to go all the way back to town- they could have just called Him on their cell phones! "Get Your butt out of there and back with us! Who do You think You are? God?"

"Are You telling me that if I don't cry out, the rocks will?  Wait! Let me get my phone..." *points the phone towards the rocks* "...okay- GO!"

"What do you mean, sacrifice the best? That's good meat right there! You can have the odd bits and entrails...I'm having steak!"

"Moses did what? Let's figure out how he's doing it!" They send a team of oceanography geeks onto the dry path. "Hold that water just a few more minutes Moses! We've collected almost all the data!"

Instead of a donkey, Jesus would probably be in a beat up old hoopty-doo that backfired.

"Hold on Jesus...if You're going forty days in the wilderness- strap this webcam to Your head so we can see what happens...This is going to make a great reality show!"

Documentary teams would pepper an entire crowd with cameras and tech to see how the bread and fishes multiplied. And those people in the front? "Hey! How did those guys in the back get their fill? I had a little taste because there wasn't much in the basket! Hand that over- I'm hungry!"

Instead of thirty pieces of silver, Judas might have signed on for book and movie rights.

Stormchasers would have had a field day on the day of His crucifixion- how did the weather change so fast? And the medical experts would wonder how a man could go through so much and still manage to shout "It is finished!" when 'normal' people being crucified would barely be able to breathe!

Cameras would've been installed inside and outside of the cave, not only to see how He 'escaped', but who was the accomplice that removed the stone!

We were a skeptical people back then, and even more so now, thanks to techo-gadgets and scientific wizardry. It makes you wonder- how would God have handled things if He had His Son come down now, instead of back then?



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