I've been asking God a lot of things lately. Most of my requests have been "Where do You want me to go?" and "What am I really supposed to be doing?"
I waited for God to answer me for a week. Then two. I sat, I prayed, I listened. Sometimes I did chores, sometimes I fell asleep. The only answer I heard was 'Be patient. I have plans for you.'
Well whoop-dee-stinkin'-doo- what did that mean? I knew He wanted me to stay home (read: work out of my home while caring for my family), and I knew He had plans for me, but good grief- can't He give me a hint or point me in the right direction? I was no better off than I started!
Oh, God loves it when I get all frustrated and whiny. That's when He works through others to answer my impatient queries. He speaks through them, and waits to see if I'm listening.
This time, he used two pastors at church. Not one, but two.
Both pastors said things that blew my mind.
The first pastor spoke about Cain and Abel, and how attitude is everything. The right attitude can change everything- and obviously by my 'whoop-dee-doo' comment above, my attitude about an answer was less than aromatic.
The second pastor preached about 'staying in your own lane'. To stop comparing ourselves with others concerning everything- not just our appearance, but our successes and failures as well. That last revelation made me realize that I'd been comparing myself to every successful newbie writer, and I've been trying to 'run in their lane' instead of my own. I followed every path that they did, every genre they did, hoping for the same result. The problem is I'm not them, and my style of writing isn't the same as theirs.
And I wonder why I'm not making any progress? I'm too tired from running everyone else's races!
God answered me through others, just like a ventriloquist. His words, their mouths. It was awesome! After church, I gave my problems a good, hard look.
Then I put on a new set of running shoes and marked my own path.
I can't guarantee that I'll stick to my path; I've been running other races for so long it's a habit that needs breaking- but I hope to follow my own track until I reach the finish line.
After all that's where God wants me to be!