Sometimes I wonder why God puts up with us.
He made us. He gave us free will. We are His children. But instead of being grateful and doing what He asks, we tear off the diapers and run all over the neighborhood, screaming 'FREEDOM!' and flashing all of the neighbors.
This is when God swats his forehead. Free will...why did I give them free will??
It's happened throughout biblical history.
"I know You said not to eat the fruit, but the snake said..."
"I'm tired of manna- I want meat! We'd be better of being slaves in Egypt.."
"The land of milk and honey? But there are giants there! No way am I going in there!"
As I look back on my own life, I can tell you I probably caused God to swat His forehead more than I'd like to admit. Why is it so hard for us to listen and obey Him sometimes?
Because His will be done- not mine, And I have free will, so that makes me extra stubborn and selfish. I mean really- who is He to tell me what to do anyway? My way is so much better!
I also can't tell you how many times I sold myself on that bit of tripe.
So here I sit in my self-righteous misery, wondering why life is such a big, stressful mess. This is usually when I pray the hardest. The funny thing is, God still answers. The funnier thing is, I still don't listen because many times the answers aren't jiving with what I want!
When it happened again, I decided to actually try and listen- and obey. I tell you that last part has to be the hardest thing to do. Ever.
I was given an Answer.
And I sacrificed what I needed to achieve His Answer.
Sweet cheese and crackers, Batman! what happened next had me completely flabbergasted.
I felt a peace I hadn't felt in a very long time (probably the last time I listened and obeyed!)
I felt calm for the first time in ages, despite the fact that my life wasn't matching my ideal.
I felt content. Do you know what contentment truly feels like? It's that small smile you make when you're doing something that you truly love. You feel satisfied, productive, and happy.
Because I knew if I listened and obeyed, God was going to handle the rest.
Now that doesn't mean bad things won't ever happen. It doesn't mean I'll never feel sad or angry. It means that no matter what happens, God will be there with me to get through it, whatever it is. I'm telling you, it's the most awesome feeling in the universe!
Looking back through my life, I can see God helping me stay sane.
When my mom and I were both out of work and we had no food in the house.
When my husband was severely burned in a work accident.
When my mom, my husband's mom, a cousin and a family friend all died within two weeks.
People still marvel over that last one, 'How are you not lying in a fetal position completely depressed?' people have asked me.
Well, the truth is I did get depressed. Only God kept me upright and got me back on track again. All He wanted me to do was go to Him in prayer. I just had to ask and He was right there with me, telling me what to do.
Do I still want to tear off the diaper and run about the neighborhood? Absolutely! (Not literally people- Pampers doesn't make diapers in size Bodacious- besides, I don't like the crinkling noises!) But when I start feeling rebellious, I make myself look back and see His hand in everything good in my life, and instead of tearing off the diaper, I read the Bible and pray. Much better choices for me- and my neighbors!
Hopefully God will not have any more forehead-swatting moments concerning me, but let's face it- I still have free will and am still stubborn and selfish.
But I know that when I cry out to Him, He will always be there.
Probably swatting His forehead.