Tuesday, November 29, 2016

I Can't Be Knee-dy

I have no idea what happened. 

One day all was well with the world, and the next, Gimpyville. I did something to my knee, and for the past two months, I've been limping around like a wounded gazelle. 

A very rotund, wounded gazelle.

Did I see a doctor? Sort of. My clinic card expired, and until it's renewed, I just have to wait. But I went to friends who are professionals in the field and asked them what the heck I did to myself. The verdict was the same. 

Tendinitis. Oh Joy and Rapture.

Normally I heal up faster than a level 20 cleric (for all you non RPGers out there, that's cheetah-fast), but this time it's a little different. This thing will take months to heal, and that's if I behave myself.

(insert maniacal laughter here)

I am a wife, mother, and caretaker of our home. You know behaving myself isn't in the picture- I'm not sure it's even possible.

Food needs to be bought. Dinners made. With four people and three cats, houses need cleaning. Sure, my husband can help with some of that, but he's also a deacon at our church, which means he has two full-time jobs on his hands already. As for the kids? They do some, but my daughter volunteers three times a week at a therapy horse ranch, and doesn't get home until almost bedtime during the week, and my son...well, let's just say he needs more motivational yelling than I have the energy for. 
My gimpy self can get the job done faster instead of telling him how to do it. Aspergers my left ankle- my son knows how to work the 'chores of the house' system like a boss. When I need him to do anything, he disappears upstairs like Houdini, and is sneakier than our cat Boo-Boo when he gets a Panera Orange Scone. Poof! Gone. For hours. Without a peep.

I've learned I can put up my leg and still cut veggies for dinner if I set up everything on the living room coffee table, while watching reruns of Gilmore Girls. Depending on the meal, I can get everything cut and ready to cook in only one or two episodes. We cook in bulk, so that's a lot of veggies and meat! 

Sometimes I get a break and can rest as I wrap and ice my knee. Sometimes, like yesterday, I consider getting a peg-leg and becoming a pirate. Shopping at not one, but two warehouse-esque stores does not to a body good! Thank God for shopping carts that act as walking sticks with baskets attached- otherwise they would still be trying to pick my gimpy butt up off of the floor at Sam's Club.

Did I mention that Restaurant Depot had an awesome deal on boneless chicken? Did I mention that you can only buy said chicken in forty pound boxes? Did you also know that I'm willing to ignore my stupid knee whilst putting two of those forty pound boxes on my cart, because the deal was just too darned good to pass up? 
I now have enough chicken to feed a third-world country- but I can't stand upright long enough to cook it. Knees are funny that way when you tick them off. Good thing I have a deep chest freezer. 

For the chicken, not the knee- although I did consider laying it in there for a bit.

As a mom/wife/homemaker, I can't be knee-dy. There's more to do than can ever be done (do I hear Lion King music?), and even if both kids were available full-time, I still couldn't cross off my entire To Do list. I don't think any family woman could, even with two good knees. And that's surprisingly comforting.

For now I will persevere with wraps, ice, prayers, and what rest I can snag until the clinic paperwork comes in. As for dinner....Gilmore Girls, anyone?


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