Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Building a Rock-Solid Foundation

Several years ago, I wrote a post called Modern Family Structure- Building On Sand (the link is below). It was a post about the basic family structure breaking down, being nearly destroyed by modern-day whims. But what my post didn't cover was how to build a firmer family foundation.

Here are some tips to get you started.

It starts with having a stable relationship with your spouse. Why bring children into a chaotic environment? The world is crazy enough! Friendship and respect are key for a rock-solid foundation- not the physical aspects of marriage- sex is the icing on the proverbial cake.

Be the cake. Talk to each other. Work out issues instead of letting them fester. Apologize and forgive. Then you can have all of the icing you want!

Give your little cupcakes a steady support system to rely on when they enter this world. The best scenario is to have one parent stay home to raise the children (and let's face it- biblically speaking, it's usually the mother. See Proverbs 31: 10-31); this takes a lot of sacrifice, but in the end, your kids will be raised by you, with your set of ethics and standards- not the daycare or babysitters' mindset. Besides, this will also protect your kids from dangerous outside influences, potential abuse, and unsavory attentions.

Does that make Mom a slave? Nope. In fact, Proverbs tells us just the opposite! She runs that house like a boss; she buys land and makes clothing for her family and servants. I always joke with my husband that this means I can have a cleaning lady (though he has yet to hire one. Sigh.) A proverbs 31 Mom also works out of her home, selling goods that she made with her own two hands. I don't think God had computers in mind when this was written, but there's no reason Mom can't work out of her home via the internet! As long as the work is done after the kids are taken care of, or during school hours.

It's not easy, but it can be done. I know. I did it. And I'm not one of those soccer-mom Type-A people. I'm a type-B- as in 'Be in Bed and sleep late' kind of people. 

Who said God doesn't perform miracles anymore?

As for Dad, He's the main breadwinner (and yes, he can work out of the home too!) and he's the one to lead the family in God's will. He teaches the boys to be honorable men (and to play rough and teach them that mud won't kill them despite Mom's protests), and he teaches the girls to be respectable young ladies. 

How? By showing his love and respect for his wife in front of them. Kids need to see parents pray, and yes, argue- and apologize to each other when the argument is over! Children need to learn how to biblically deal with conflict. Children also need to know that there will be struggles (especially if one parent is bringing in income), but with God, anything is possible. Parents show God's glory by living their lives to please Him.

The hardest part is consistency. You need to train kids constantly- the lessons just change as they grow. Kids need chores to do, discipline, and a set of rules to live by so by the time they move out, they will be ready to take on the world and it's skewed ideals. Parents need to be on the same page when it comes to training as well- one parent can't be lenient and other too tough, and any 'bending' of the rules should be discussed first. 

Communication. Caring. Consistency. The three C's of family life. But the most important is the fourth C- Christ. Only through Him will we thrive as a Christian family in a world of chaos!


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