Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Brain Meltdowns

I think too much.

There's so much going on in life lately that all I want to do is just curl up into a little ball with some chocolate, and hide under the bed for a month with the cats.

If I didn't know any better, I'd say I was hyper kinetic- that means my brain never shuts off. But I sleep, so I guess not. But I know I'm close.

I think about all the financial finagling we have to do in order to look for a house. I think about how to schedule my life around the kids summer schedule. I think about how I'll find time for writing, cooking, sewing, de-cluttering and face-painting. Yes, I do face-painting too...it's going to help with the financial finagling part. My thoughts are like the Internet- everything is connected to everything else, with no site blockers to help me slow down.

At one point there is so much to think about, my brain turns into jello and I stare into the abyss of a messy living room, unable to come up with a single synapse of brain function. And that's usually when the kids ask me for stuff.

I stare at them blankly. They smile (knowing I'm in 'meltdown mode'), repeat their request as if they're doing me a favor, and I nod with the enthusiasm of a sleep-deprived zombie. Some time later when I begin to show life once more, I see both kids on the computer, eating and drinking everything they shouldn't with blissful glee.
I know better than to argue with the kids at this point- they could outwit me in a heartbeat. I schlump into the kitchen to wash dishes, in hopes my brain comes back for a visit.

Eventually my brain returns from it's mental hiatus, and I'm back on track- sort of. Things are still a bit fuzzy, but at least I can respond with more than one syllable! Things start to organize themselves in my mind, and I can start setting priorities on my elongated list. I stop thinking long enough to get some actual work done. Okay, so I never stop thinking, but when I focus on something physical (like dishes), I can let my mind wander to work on the other stuff I have to do.

I think I need to a new mantra. Too many times I find myself over-thinking matters that should only get ten percent of the time I actually spend on them, and Just Do It. But Nike already took that one, so I have to go with my own. Get Er Done! Nope...taken. Stop Thinking, Start Doing? Nope, I don't want to stop thinking, it's a writer's main tool. Stop Stopping, Start Starting? Nope, that won't work either. Hmm....

I need to do some serious thinking about this...don't you think? ;)


Cecilia Marie Pulliam said...

We have all gotten stuck in that thinking so much mode we have become immobilized. Just too much floating around to focus. I love the way you described the situation and could see myself there all too easily. As for a new mantra? All the ones you suggested are not only taken, but they don't give you hope or added strength. Most of them imply that if only WE work harder WE can accomplish more. What if you thought of the word US, meaning you and God. Everything is possible with US. In fact, I think that is what I'm going to start saying when I feel overwhelmed - US! Yep, US - God and me, and maybe a few friends who happen to come along - US!

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