What is God doing to me?
There's a lot of stuff going on here, but I have to wait for it. I want to have a yard sale NOW. No, I have to wait. I want to get a new house NOW. No, I have to wait. I want the syndicate to call me, NOW. NOW would be really good. In fact, NOW would be monumentally fantastic! But no- I have to wait.
Patience is a virtue that I simply do not posses. Not even a mustard seed's worth.
It's beginning to affect my everyday life too. I want dinner NOW. But I have to cook it first. I want to lose weight NOW. But I have to eat right and go to the gym for the next five years. I want the perfect life NOW. But I pretty much have to die first. Well, that one I don't mind waiting a little bit longer for. I just hate waiting for stuff!
I don't think I'd mind so much if some things came NOW and some later- at least there would be a sense of moving forward, some feeling of closure; but having to wait for almost everything makes me feel as if I'm in quicksand, and the vine is just out of reach. I can't get my hands on it, because I have to work my way towards it first. And that takes time.
I know God does everything good, and He does so in His time, but He is eternal, and my lifespan is like that of a gnat compared to Him! He's got all eternity to do what He wants! And He's going to make me wait?!?
You bet your boots He is.
If I got everything I wanted right away, I would be a spoiled brat. He makes me wait (especially for the bigger stuff) because He wants me to learn patience, pray and work for it. Patience isn't in my genes; He has to teach me. And I am quite the lousy student!
I've decided to change my mindset to one of anticipation instead of irritation. Like a kid waiting for his birthday party- It's better to look forward to having all your friends over than to be grumpy because they aren't there yet!
I still want stuff NOW, but I'll wait. I'll have to wait- I don't have much of a choice in the matter! But I'll enjoy the wait, because God is indeed, good.
And when is He good? NOW!