Monday, July 22, 2013

Time Warped

This summer was fraught with promise. I was going to be the Best Mom Ever and do things outside with the kids, and be the Social Butterfly of the Year by having friends and family over. We have a fire pit and outdoor furniture for those cool, nights perfect for weenie and marshmallow roasting. It was going to be the summer of summers!

Where has the time gone?

Part of me wonders if it was the heat- I replaced the outdoor thermometer with the one from the oven, because the little bulb exploded. Saunas don't contain as much humidity as the outside air, and heat warnings from the weather service keep telling me and mine to stay inside, or your feet will melt. So I decided to wait for the heat wave to be over before I invited anyone over. 

I'm still waiting!

I think the heat has warped the space/time continuum, for all my friends are now too busy to come over. Things are just going at too fast a pace to slow down, and when things do settle, the heat has sapped any excess energy for them to do anything social. And forget about tempting them with roasting marshmallows- no one wants to be in this heat! And if they don't die of heat exposure, they'll be sucked dry by the mosquitoes, because it has rained every day since spring.

The summer is half over, and I have yet to attain even one friendly visit or outing with the kids.

Now I'm hearing ads for back to school sales and getting paperwork for school registrations, and I'm printing out unending lists of school supplies and uniforms they'll need for school because they grew out of everything a month before school ended last year.

They're growing up, and I'm running out of time! Yet my kids tell me they are bored to death on a consistent basis, while I sit in a pool of sweat wondering how I'm going to get everything done by September.

I remember being a kid and time dragged on forever during the summer. But my parents never seemed to have a lot of time on their hands. I wonder if as we age, the time continuum changes as physical maturity ensues. I bet you it does.
(Please note I said 'as physical maturity ensues' not mental maturity- acting immature doesn't count!)

So where has the time gone? Sucked down a vortex from our bodies and into our children. Our time goes faster, while their time goes slower. It makes perfect sense. And the heat speeds the process along.

I'm wondering if I can stop the warped time vortex by inviting my kids out in the yard while being armed with an ice-cold hose. I think it would do wonders for all of us! 


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