My mom is with Jesus.
No more suffering.
No more pain.
No more struggling spirit in a failing body.
My mom and I didn't have the best relationship. She kept her past to herself and refused to tell me anything unless she was angry and something slipped out.
Sometimes what she said hurt deeply- it put up barriers in our relationship. Every year the wounds would fester and we'd get further and further apart. She said she wanted a relationship, but whenever we became close again, she would push me away. Finally I stayed away. At least in my heart.
It was decades before I forgave her. It wasn't easy. I knew that she would still push me away and we'd never be really close. It didn't matter. God had lifted a heavy burden from my heart the moment I forgave her.
Two years later, she was diagnosed with cancer. Three weeks later, God called her home. Time isn't merciful when things are left unhealed. In that two year period, I did all I could for her. Last week she told me how much she loved and appreciated me as I held her hand. Hearts were healing when she passed.
I never appreciated just how many gifts my mother gave me.
She gave me the love of the written word. She gave me the gift of cadence; recognizing patterns in speech and music so I could write songs and poetry. She gave me the love of laughter- great big belly laughs that required a change of undergarments.
And she was the one that introduced me to God.
She has taught me so much.
God is good.
He has taught me so much.
Refrain from hurtful words.
Because time isn't merciful.
But God is.
Goodbye Mom. I love you. Don't forget to meet me at the gates when He calls me home- and don't forget to bring extra underwear. We have a lot to talk about!