Ever see ants trying to dig out of the sand? They dig and dig and dig and dig- they never seem to stop digging.
Yep- that's me.
Just when I think my anthill is safe and secure, someone comes along to dump sand to block my front door. This past year has been one of struggles, and the sand just keeps piling on.
But I'm not going to stop digging.
First it was money. so I got a job. Then I got six of them. Financially, life was starting to even out.
The second was time. I had none left for fun and family, not to mention the housewifey stuff. I also had no time to exercise, so I gained all of the weight back that I lost, and then some. Ugh.
The third was energy. By the time I was done work, had some family time and maybe had time to cook or clean (never, ever both), I was ready to collapse into bed. Sometimes I'd collapse before bed, unintentionally falling asleep on the couch during family time. Oops.
God got me through the rough stuff. I'm still not through all of the rough stuff-it keeps fluctuating between the three- but it feels like there's hope. God never does anything without reason, and so far I've learned a lot about myself, my family, and a ton more about God. And things, as crazy as they were, were still working out.
Then there was Four.
I won't even mention what Four is (at least not yet in this blog), but it hit me like a sledgehammer. The funny thing is I was half-expecting this fourth pile of sand- just not when I was still digging out of the other three piles. This ant is getting really, really tired of sand.
But there is good news. God is there helping me dig out.
I should be going nuts right now. Stark, raving, climb-a-stucco-wall-to-the-rooftop-barehanded-and-scream-like-a-banshee crazy. But I'm not. I'm calm. Not happy, mind you, but calm.
It's the weirdest feeling I've ever known.
The feeling is familiar though, because God has done this before to me. It was weird then too. It's also awesome. No one wants to deal with a bat-crazy banshee!
I don't know what's going to happen in the near future, but God will handle it. He'll have to- I'm too focused on the sand to take much notice of anything else. But everything- everything- works out for His good. It always has.
So I'll keep on digging.
I'm just glad God's shovel is bigger than mine!
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