Monday, October 26, 2015

Where Did I Go?

One day you're just speeding along, doing what you need to do every day, when suddenly you realize something. 

You lost yourself.

I don't mean 'lost yourself' like being deeply involved in a book. I mean when you're so darned busy, you forget you're a human being.

I have utterly, completely lost myself these past few months.

For the first time since our marriage, I had to work outside of my home. I worked at a fabric store eons ago, more for getting out of the house than a financial need so that doesn't count. This time I have to work- it's a totally different dynamic.

It's more of a culture shock, really. I no longer have the time to do the things that keep me sane. The things I like to do define me. And for the past few months, I've not had a chance to delve into the things that make me my creative, oddball self.

I miss me!

Some of you can understand how I feel. Some of you might think I'm whining. After all, I had eighteen years to do something with the talents God gave me...right? So what did I do with all that 'slopping over' talent? Not much, really.

I made my fair share of money. I've made handmade gifts for folks. I've even donated my work. My kids have quilts to keep them warm at night, my husband has a quilt that we share when watching movies, and my friends have their kids face painted by me at their parties, with their lady friends wearing my origami jewelry...

Hey, wait a minute. That's more than 'not much'- isn't it? Maybe my talents weren't wasted after all?

Maybe that's what I'm missing!

I like creating things. Oh sure, I like selling my work too, but I really love making crafts that others enjoy. I love writing, brainstorming, and creating new crafts, new characters, and new story ideas.

And that's what's going wrong. I haven't been able to create anything for almost three months!

Where did I go? I went to work. I get up, I work, I come home, I work, I cook, I go to meetings, I come home and sleep. The weekends are a little different, but not by much. 

Creative minds need outlets. I haven't given mine any outlets lately, so it's shutting down and sulking somewhere in my mind- probably by the 'where did I put my keys' section.

I really need to get those creative juices going again!

It won't be easy. But it needs to be done. All work and no play makes Jacqueline a really tired, grumpy old sot. And nobody wants to be that when they grow up!

I still haven't decided what I'll be doing when I grow up- but whatever it'll be, it'll be creative! 

Monday, October 19, 2015

You're Getting Old When...

I didn't think I was old until I had a conversation this morning with my husband. Now I wonder if I'm on the verge of OldCootsdom.

So I decided to write down a few of the latest things we'd been talking about, and overheard from other Cootites.

You're getting old when....

Retirement plans are closer and a lot thinner than you thought.

The kids are almost adults.

The cats are becoming fashion accessories- especially in winter.

You have more than three cats- and you want more!

Having a great poop makes the entire day seem better.

You brush two sets of teeth- the second set is in a glass on the sink.

The kids ask what you'll be leaving them every time you're sick. 

You actually consider what you'll be leaving them.

Your grey hair begins to look sexy.

You have to roll your boobs up like socks to look 'perky' again.

You look into the mirror naked, and realize your body looks like it's melting.

Age spots become beauty marks.

You're no longer afraid to laugh at yourself!

I'm not old yet, just youth impaired. And that's okay too. I've not arrived at OldCootsdom yet- I'll stop off at Fogeyville for a while.

Do you have a Fogeyism you're like to share? Post it in the comments!

Monday, October 12, 2015

The New Vaudeville Act

This week was like some ironic little Vaudeville act.

This is my husband Sick, and I'm Tired- together we're Sick and Tired!
*cue applause*

Today's act features: 
Husband Tossing Cookies- His accuracy is amazing! 
Wife Falling Asleep While Making Dinner- Watch her snore while she cores! Sleeps as she slices! Dozes as she dices!
His fever is so high, she can use his head as a stove-top! Yowza!

Okay, maybe not.

This was a week of sickness.
My son was sick.
My husband was sick. 
I was tired, then I was sick.

I still am. The Vaudeville act continues. This time it's a solo act.

At least I have enough brain cells to write- writing doesn't require much movement- and right now, that's a very good thing. I don't want to take over my husband's act!

He's feeling better now so I took him to work. And that was the extent of my workday thus far. I'm recovering, but that doesn't mean my stomach is ready for calisthenics just yet.

Yet I can still claim that being sick was a blessing. I know what you're thinking. "Wait...What?"
Yep, it's been a blessing.

My husband though sick, got to rest. Yes it will hurt the budget for a bit, but it was rest he needed. I managed to make some good home-cooked soup before I succumbed to the flu, so everyone was pretty much fed when I was down and out. And I lost five out the the seven pounds I just recently gained.

God is so good!

I feel well enough to get the house out of the "disaster zone" stage, and since the kids are off today, they are definitely helping- or maybe I'll help them instead. We're going to do an extra good job on the bathrooms, doorknobs and banisters- you'd be surprised how much better everyone gets when these "handy" parts of the house are scrubbed down. 

Soon the Sick and Tired Vaudeville act will be over. The curtains will come down, and I can work on my next acts- Budget Balancing and Job Juggling- or maybe a clown act with the cats!

Monday, October 5, 2015

Life- The Overdone Steak

Ever have a steak that's been on the grill just a little too long? Tire treads would be more tender than that piece of beef, but it's all that you have, so you have to eat it.

Sometimes that's life.

You bite into it, realizing that that sucker is going to take a lot more chewing power, so you take a smaller bite. and a smaller one. and a smaller one. You keep doing it until it's a small enough bite for you to handle. It still tastes good, but the texture needs work before it can nourish your body.

Life can be tough, like a steak. Sometimes we just need to take smaller bites to handle the entire thing. Sometimes there are just too many jobs to do, and they need to get done yesterday.

Then the car needs fixing. Or the kids get sick. Or you have a menopausal breakdown. Or all three. Oh yeah, it's been one of those months years.

We needed money. I got a job. The job works great, but then the extra funds go to repairs for the van. Lack of exercise makes me gain weight. So I go to the gym. Then menopause hits and I have the energy of a drugged sloth in syrup. 

The devil is stomping on my life with barbed-wire cleats- while dangling an overdone steak over my head. Jerk.

I can almost hear the theme song from the Lion King: "...more to do, than can ever be doooone..."

I don't want to be a part of the circle of life- I just want a circle of sanity!

Okay, so maybe I'm a little hormonal. A little. I'm driving my family nuts right now because I'm taking too big a bite of that steak and trying to force it down without water to drink. Instead of a nice, sane mommy that says "I love you, pookums, now please go paint the house", I'm the insane, nutball woman shouting, "I need the house painted! AAUGH! Why are you painting the house! I need a hug- I'm having a hot flash-DON'T TOUCH ME! Where's the chocolate- I need it! AAUGH! I gained weight! WAAH!"

And that was only yesterday. Sigh. I really do need to take smaller bites. I just have to learn how.

This world is just too busy, and I get caught up in it just like everyone else. But sometimes I just need to step back, breathe, and pray about it. 

I'll grab a knife and fork (or maybe a blender) and with God's help, tackle that steak one eensy-weensy bite at a time!