Monday, January 27, 2014

When the Devil Jumps with Both Feet

It's been a rough few weeks.

There's a lot going on, and not all of it was good. In fact, most of it wasn't. It seems as if the Devil is jumping on me with both feet. He's been jumping on a lot of people lately. Maybe he's been jumping on you too.

Do you want to know why? Because God is about to do something awesome for us, and the Devil is scared!

He wants us to think God turned His back, that God isn't there for us, and that God isn't going to help- when in fact (if we ignore the little demon and his antics), God is working on something so fantastic that when it happens it will completely blow our minds!

God knows it, the Devil knows it, but because we don't know it, Satan takes matters into his own hands and tries to make our lives miserable so we are the ones that turn away from God- not the other way around.

A friend of mine is also going through some trials when God whispered this little gem of wisdom into my ear. I placed a reassuring hand on her arm and said, "Do you realize that God must be working on something fantastic for us for the Devil to be this agitated?"

That made her smile. It made me smile too!

There's no way I'm going to take the credit for this bit of wisdom- I'm not that wise. Wise cracking, but not always wise. Just ask my family- they know better.

I'm so very glad He whispered that to me. It changed my entire perspective about what I'm going through. I wanted to share this with you so if (or when) you're going through something of your own, you can think of this post and be reminded that the harder Satan jumps, the bigger the blessing in the end- we just can't see it yet.

God bless!

Monday, January 20, 2014

The Irony Vortex

Treachery is afoot. My brain is out to get me.

I've finished writing my first book, and while that's out to the critique experts, I'm working on my second. This one will be more of a 'How-to' book than series of funny life stories.

I made tons of notes- I know I did- but can I find them? NOOOoooooo!

Hence, the Irony Vortex.

You know you've seen a certain object every day for the last year. In fact, the darn thing keeps getting in the way of everyday living. But then when you need the darn thing, and then it's nowhere to be found.

Finding them would imply that I'm organized. It took me a month to completely unpack a three-story house- except for one room, and that's where all my writing and crafting magic happens. that sucker took me a year to get right, because I needed a lot of shelves for all of my junk- I mean valuable assets. 
I have a sewing/crafting spot, and I have a writing spot. I had no idea just how many papers I had in piles tucked away in boxes until I unloaded everything. My carbon footprint would rival Bigfoot.

Yet I was diligent and sorted all this stuff into folders to see exactly what I had. And if I had enough notes, then I had a book. I have enough potential books to fill a library the size of a small state.

But this particular folder was the one I wanted to work on. I had been writing notes since the move 'last year' (it was Dec. 2012, so it's still only been a year and a month) and I know I put them in one spot.

But I can't find them.

Part of my brain is telling me that I just didn't look in the right place. The other part of my brain says I tossed the notes while decluttering, because no one would ever buy a book on that particular subject!

One part of my brain is hopeful that I just put the notes in an odd place- all I have to do it go over everything in my writing space. Everything. The other brain part is saying it's a lost cause, and try to remember what you wrote and rewrite the notes.

My brain is out to kill me.

I have two choices- one, I go through all of my notes in every folder, binder or anyplace else that can hold little slips of paper, or I have to depend on my one and a half brain cells to remember everything I did a little over a year ago. 

Dear Lord, hit me with a rampaging goat, because I don't want to do either!

I really, really hope I didn't toss the notes or that I can remember what I wrote down. Good thing that God has no trouble performing miracles, because if He wants me to write this thing, I'm going to need His help!

And we all know what will happen when I finish this book, don't we? I'll find all those wonderful little notes right in front of my nose just as I send the book to a publisher!

Oh Irony Vortex, why do you trouble me so?

Monday, January 13, 2014

Dietary Ironies

It has come to my attention that God is a practical joker. Who else would make me metabolically sensitive to the things I love?

I love bread. Really- I LOVE bread. I love making the dough, baking it, and eating the heck out of it. And every time I eat it, I get really, really tired. Yet when I get tested for gluten issues, the results show nada. Nothing. Zippo.

I get tired, but I still eat it anyway because I love bread. In fact, I run a bread ministry!

The docs tell me that if the bread makes me tired, I should stop eating it. Duh. Tell me something else I already know and don't want to do! (and honestly, why do I keep going to these people?)

I did a low-carb diet plan years ago and did very well with it. However, I had a limited palate and got bored after a few months- it's hard to come up with recipes when you can't include your favorite carbs since childhood, like bread, pasta and rice. White rice- not that nasty healthy stuff that's the color of oatmeal. Blah.

Here's another irony- now my husband has become vitamin deficient and needs better, healthier foods. What does the doc recommend? Yep- no bread, pasta or white rice, and easy on the sugar too, bub.

So now there's two family members who need to stop eating the 'good' stuff, and eat all those nasty healthy things like brown rice and *shudder* vegetables. 

No more blaming it on the kids and telling everyone that I can't make myself special foods because I'm the only one who needs it. 
No more statements about my eating bread and all that other good stuff because everyone else is eating it.
No more being able to stretch meals from one day to a month because I can add bread, pasta, or white rice to it and make it last longer.

All because the two main players in the family have been told to make dietary changes or else suffer severe health issues- like not being able to fit through a doorway anymore (me) or crash and burn from exhaustion every other day (my husband).

I think God is grinning and tweaking my nose because He just got the better of me. He knows I could care less about my own health, but I'd give up everything if my husband had dietary needs. God can be a sneaky lil booger when He wants to be.

So now here I sit, thinking about all those books on that special diet I gave away years ago, and wondering if I have to buy them again, or just look up and print everything off of the Internet. I can remember most of what was done (since I did it at least three times), but I'm a bit fuzzy on the details now. My palate had improved a lot, and there are a lot more veggies on my plate (okay, not more, per se, but a bigger variety), so maybe I won't get bored.


As for the bread ministry? You can't gain weight from sniffing the loaves as you pack them...right?

Monday, January 6, 2014

When Wannabes Are Good

I'm a Wannabe.

I wannabe a great author.
I wanna be a millionaire!
I wannabe thinner and healthier.
I wannabe the best person I can be.

The term 'wannabe' usually refers to someone who is past their prime, and no longer able to get whatever it is they seek- for instance, I shall never be a ballerina; but luckily for me I was never shooting for that particular stardom. Rotund ballerinas with strands of platinum blond hair showing just can't compete with today's slender and more fit younger ladies- besides, there's no male dancer that has the strength to lift me (at least without some of those cable/pulley things attached!)
My tutu would be more like a fourfour.

No- The wannabes I want to talk about today are those that wannabe something great and are willing to work for it. The wannabes of today will be tomorrows game changers.

Oh yeah- I wannabe one of them!

The best part for me is I don't have to be young (at least in body), look a certain way or even act a certain way to become what God wants me to be- poet warriors and writers can look any way they want, as long as they have a pen in hand (or a mouse) and write well. 

If I work hard enough and use the gifts that God gave me (including a really big mouth), then I can achieve all four of those wannabe things!

I wannabe a great author. So what did I do? I read books. Books on how to write, my favorite authors, authors in similar writing genres, and all kinds of information on the Internet to help me get this goal started. I took notes, made some choices, and started writing.
Writing is key when you want to be an author, you know. Can't have a book done without it.

I wannabe a millionaire. Oh, doesn't everybody? But does everyone think like a millionaire? Nope. So I did research online and talked to people who knew how to manage money (and were in fact, millionaires), then worked on changing my mindset to one of millionaire status. 
One big thing I learned is that millionaires (at least the ones that worked for it and not just inherited it), used their money so it worked for them, not the other way around. They planned, budgeted, and sacrificed luxuries (yeah, that last one surprised me too!), so in the future, they would have financial security. 
If the first wannabe comes true, then the second might not be far behind! Yes I started late, but what I learn I teach my kids, so they will have a better start in the future. One benefit from that is they would be able to support themselves, and my husband and I can go to Disney for a month if we wanted to! No having to worry about silly things like 'inheritance' and all that jazz because they could support their own butts. 

I wannabe thinner and healthier. After a lot of research, I'm slowly changing our diets to include more fruits and veggies (much to the disdain of my teenage son, Hoover Vaccugulp), and lean meats. We've always eaten well (I'm a home cook and my husband is a natural chef), but I'd stretch out the food by adding bread, pasta and white rice to the meals. Not that that's bad, but it can be if had all the time. It's just filler- even if we use whole grains. It's better filler, but still filler, not something we need every single day.
I know I'll never be skinny- and I'm not sure I'll ever want to be skinny. But one hundred pounds off of my frame would be fantastic! Even one hundred fifty pounds off would be a reasonable goal, provided I don't need to lose it all by next week. Healthier, is by far the more preferred choice, and if the thinner comes along later, than more power to me!
Maybe I should also add fit to this list. Healthy isn't the same as fit, and I need to move more. So when I eat better and move more, the 'be thinner' should come along for the ride. At least I hope so!

I wannabe the best person I can be. To purge oneself from the part of their personality they can't stand isn't easy. In fact, it's impossible to eradicate all of the bad stuff. But there is nothing wrong with finding ways to duct tape those suckers to a chair, gag them, and threaten their little bad selves into hiding out until the next century. Nope, nothing at all wrong with that.
The Bible teaches about honor, integrity, faith, kindness, compassion, love and all that great good stuff we should be doing for our fellow man. I want to be someone remembered for her clean, fun sense of humor, and that I made people feel good- about themselves, their situations, and have a triumphant spirit to conquer whatever personal issues they have. All the while maintaining those good great things God gave us in our hearts.

Yes, I'm a Wannabe. Maybe you are too! After all, who wouldn't like to be a Wannabe too...right?