Monday, May 17, 2021

God, Me, and Limbo

It's not easy waiting for God to tell you what to do.

Years ago, I asked God where He wanted me. I felt lead in doing creative things, but I wasn't sure which one I was supposed to follow. So I fasted and prayed, listening for His word to come to me.

Three days into the fast, I cried out to Him. I'm such a weenieburger of a Christian. Three days isn't much from a biblical standpoint, but I'm human, impatient, and at the time, famished.

Please, Lord! I cried, throwing myself face-first into my pillow. Just tell me what You want me to do!

I took a calming (if muffled) breath, and to my surprise, I heard Him. Write books, He gently replied.

Now, being the excellent weenieburger Christian that I am, did I thank Him? Did I praise Him for answering so promptly?

Nope. I actually turned my head to the side and blurted, All for them?!?

His voice was commanding but also slightly amused. Yes, all of them.

And then, silence.

Image by nugroho dwi hartawan from Pixabay

Did He have any idea just how many books I had in my head? Not to mention the notes, folders, and files I had that were only partially filled? The children's books, the stories, the how-tos, and the puzzle book series I'd just begun to fathom?

Of course, He did. He's God. Duh.

So what did I do? Procrastinate. I got a job. I did other things and barely wrote at all. I cringe now when I think of it. I know what He wants me to do, but I still feel unqualified- though more qualified than I did when we had our little God-talk.

I became a better writer. I bought supportive software to improve my faulty writing habits. I even had a few illustrations done. But I still felt in limbo because it takes more than writing to create a book. 

I needed the means to publish a book. For me, that means illustrations, printing, and a way to sell the books. It also means I need the funds to pay for all that stuff. For you, the needs might be different, but the same rules apply to your calling. You need to do something to accomplish something else that you're called to by God.

At first, I thought my job would provide what I needed, but I soon realized that the costs of the job outweighed the benefits. So I gave notice and left. Then had to fathom what to do next, so I could accomplish what God wanted.

This was when God granted me a bit of wisdom. Use the talents He gave me to support what He wanted me to do. Back then, I thought I had to choose one creative outlet, but God showed me that I can do more than one thing to further my calling. Hindsight is always 20/20, and when I look back, I regret all that wasted time floundering.

I don't think I was in limbo, now that I look back; I think God was just waiting for my little lightbulb to activate. Now that it has, I have a better idea of how to accomplish what I'm called to do. It won't be easy, but it will be awesome!

The same goes for you. Feeling like you're in limbo? Ask yourself why. Pray on it. Try starting at the goal and work your way back to map out how you can accomplish what God wants. Maybe your little lightbulb will go off too! I hope it does. We need to shine bright in this world!