Lion King Moments

Remember the opening song in Lion King when it talks about the Circle of Life?

My life isn't a circle- it's more like this:

There's one line that always sticks out to me-'More to do than can ever be done'. Oh yeah baby, I'm living that lyric!

Here are just a few things going on:

My husbands' work situation is in flux- we have no idea what God has planned for him concerning his job, but for now, he's in limbo at the workplace.

We're trying to start an at-home baking/cooking business. That includes the classes and supplies needed to get this puppy started. 

I working to create a craft business starting next year.

My son is in a work program for autistic adults, working his way into independence- the step he's in currently is voluntary work to gain experience. We hope he will go back to college in the next two years.

My daughter is a senior in high school during the week and works weekends doing what she loves for a small salary. She should be in college by next year if the scholarships come through.

With both kids gone most of the week (and weekends for one of them), chores fall on the parental units- moreso on the female of the species. Chores I became dependent on the kids to do. I'm not ready for Empty Nest Syndrome!

Chores. It had to be chores...

Since the surgery (and the weight gain) I've been slower than usual. This makes everything I have to do even more fantazmagorical.
All this on top of writing, crafting, ministry, cooking, momming, and wifing. Never in that order. Not even close.

Oh, and we're trying to deep-clean the house and make repairs as we go. Why? Because we might be hosting Thanksgiving (or at least have Friendsgiving the day afterward), we're definitely baking for Thanksgiving orders from local friends and family, we're supposed to get windows installed three weeks before Christmas, and then have a Christmas Open House party two weeks before Jesus' birthday. 
Normally this annual party is held between Christmas and New Years, but my husband is working that week. As for me, I just might collapse on the couch in gratitude that it's all over until January!

I haven't been online even for emails and Facebook, no less actually sitting down and writing something comprehensible for a blog! And for that, I do apologize, my Dear Readers. 

So many activities, so little time. Definitely more to do than can ever be done!

How am I handling all this spendiferous chaos? To be honest, I'm not. Not well, anyway.

I know how to handle everything, I just haven't done it yet. And if I don't get my act together soon, things will really go haywire.

I can schedule like a boss- I just need to get up off my butt and do it. If only I did this with the rest of my life, I'd be one wickedly productive individual.

First I figure out where and when certain events are taking place, then I work back from that date and schedule the things I have to do. 
If I have more than one thing going on, I give myself a little space in between everything to allow myself to breathe- Because breathing is a good thing.

Now if I can just get started...

Do you have trouble getting done what you need to do? Maybe we can pray for each other- I know I can sure use the help! And when two or more gather together in prayer...awesomeness happens!

When God Calls You On The Carpet

Did you ever ask God to give you guidance?

I have. I fasted for it. I prayed for it. I begged and pleaded to Him for an answer. I even threw myself on my bed face down and ugly-cried for His answer. 

What was my question? 
'What do You want me to do Lord?'

Just when I thought He'd never answer, I heard His voice ring in my ears. "Write books."
Being the good, obedient Christian I am, I replied, "All of them?!?"
And I know I'd heard a chuckle when He said, "Yes. All of them."

Now He didn't mean all of them, as in the whole-wide-world 'all of them', but all of them as in 'all of those partially-finished writing projects that are sitting dormant as notes in the folders on your desk'. 

I tried counting those folders once, but I ran out of fingers and toes. Twice.

That's a lot of books.

This exchange took place a while ago, mind you; in fact, I wrote a blog post about it. And yet here I sit, still bookless and folder-full.

I can understand how the Hebrews felt when God wasn't pushing them 24/7. The miracles are noted, praised on, and then left to be forgotten in some dusty notebook- or in my case laptop- until we heard from Him again. Last week I was sitting all alone and wallowing in misery about my purpose, but this time God decided to let me wallow- at least until Sunday.

When I went to church, there was a visiting speaker. I love new speakers- at least most of them. I liked this man too- he had a lot of great insights to share. 

And then he said...'Stop giving God excuses! If God told you to write books, write books!' 

I know the speaker gave other examples after that, but I was too busy giving an 'uh-oh I'm in trouble' look to my best church buddy sitting next to me, who gave me an 'oh boy, yes you are' look in return.

She knew my 'write books' story. She also knew I was full of excuses for not writing. Any writing. 

God called me on the carpet. Big time. 

She knew it. I knew it. And God certainly knew what I wasn't doing.

Yikes.

No more excuses. This was a warning, and I didn't want Him warning me again. No forty years in the desert for me, thank you very much.

But what to write first? Same problem as before (since there are no fewer than seventy book ideas with half-written notes in my folders), but God was nice enough to give me a little clarity this time around.

Three books are on the list to start with (the first needs a final edit as the artwork is being done, the second is half-written and the third is a coloring book for my artsy muse moments), and I'm telling you all of this, my Dear Readers, just to make sure I stay on track to get these books finished!

I don't know how long the art will take, but even if I get the final editing done before the art is finished, I already have that half-finished book lined up. The best part is the second book cover is so simple, I'm going to create it!

If all goes well (and fast) at least one book will be out before the holidays. At least, that's my goal. Setting deadlines are also something I have to do. Small goals, small successes, but big results!

Has God ever called you on the carpet? What's your story and how can I pray for you?

Juice Your Creativity!

Reality is getting in the way of my creativity!

You know what I mean...you're too busy to do this, your schedule won't allow you to do that; there's no time, money, resources or room to do what you really want to do.

The creative juices dry up if they're not used, folks. Believe me, I know!

So what do you do when your creative well goes dry? Juice your creativity!

How?

Ask yourself a few questions. What do you love doing? What actions do I need to take to get inspired? How can I make these ideas become a reality? When can I make these ideas become reality?

One of the things I love doing is fabric art. I opened my drawers of fabric and started juicing...er...playing with them.
I looked at the bright colors.
I let the fabrics flow through my hands.
I wrinkled each piece, laid it against the other fabrics for companions and contrasts, and unfolded it to see just how much fabric I had to work with.

Once the juices started flowing, I looked at books of fabric projects, odd notes I'd made about fabrics and project ideas, and the next thing you know I was excited. I wanted to create again!

What happens when you get excited about something? You make time for it.

The activity itself doesn't matter. Whether you write, do paper art, or make a quilt like me, or something else that's just as awesome- the idea is to get excited so you're more motivated to get a project started- and finished.

It also helps you organize your time and space. I have a great sewing space that fell into a catch-all for a face-painting project, and I haven't sewn in months because my machine is unbelievably cluttered. But after playing with my fabrics, instead of dreading the mess to clean, I'm looking forward to using that space for sewing once more.

And when the sewing wanes, I'll do something with paper. Or writing. Or attempt new experiments with fabric I haven't dared to try yet. I want to keep those wonderful juices flowing in a positive, more productive direction.

Have you been feeling juiceless lately? Ask yourself the questions I listed, and let me know how you juiced your creativity!

Clutter-Colored Glasses

It's amazing how your vision clears when you go away for a few days.

I went to a writers' conference, and though I came home at night, I was basically home just to sleep and have some breakfast until my eyes fully opened. Then out the door I went, into the world of the written word.

When I returned, I'd noticed changes in my family- and my house.

Have you ever noticed something odd or off or just plain not right in your home after coming home from a trip? It's like I'd taken off clutter-colored glasses.

My family was in a funk- and that funk was absorbed by the contagion of their funky surroundings.

There was clutter everywhere. Stuff I either didn't notice before, or was placed there while I was gone. It didn't help that the basement had partially flooded earlier that week and they brought a lot of the funky stuff upstairs to dehumidify.

Yet the basement had dried out days ago, and still the stuff sat in our living room and dining room. Instead of putting it all back (and then some), all of us just stepped around it like it was a natural growth forest of clutter.

At least until I came home.

Okay, so that's not entirely true. I had a lot of writing stuff to go through, so I walked around the junk and made my way to my writing sanctuary upstairs.

I slighted the sloppiness.
Passed over the papers.
Disregarded the dishes.
Usurped the upstairs and hid like a hermit.

Apparently the clutter-colored glasses were also worn in my sanctuary, for it was strewn with papers tossed (as I looked for the good stuff to submit for the conference), craft supplies left out and partially toppled, all in a chaotic, glittery pile. 

Maybe I can sell this mess as art on Etsy. So much for escaping the clutter!

I said to myself 'if they don't care, neither do I' and went back downstairs to watch funny cat videos with the family. But the depressive air continued to stifle. We constantly tripped over stuff, squabbles over who stuff was whose to move out of the way, and I was embarrassed to have people over. 

And what the heck was that smell?

The more the clutter grew, the less anyone wanted to do anything about it. And I was part of the problem because I'd never noticed.

God kept nagging me to do something. We needed to declutter and clean this house top to bottom. But how was I going to do that with a wonky forearm and people not motivated to move? I'm talking everyone, including my normally hyperactive husband!

God gave me the answer.

I talked to my husband about it, and the next day we implemented my clean-up plan.

One room. 

Just work on one room per day (or two if we needed it) for just an hour or two per day. Declutter and deep clean everything. Husband and daughter deep clean and move furniture, son clears and sorts into boxes and bags, and I go through the bags and shred, sort, file and put away things. No taking entire weekends and huge chunks of time out to do the entire house. Eat the cluttered whale one bite at a time.

And on Monday, we went into action. It worked!

First we put on a mix of music everyone liked and could sing as they worked. All surfaces were cleared and anything that we knew would stay got wiped down and put back after cleaning. There wasn't much that belonged on most of the flat surfaces that needed to stay. By the time we were done, half the room shone like a star. Already the house seemed to be more cheerful.

And I shredded enough paper to fill en entire trash bag.

The living room took two days to complete, and I have all kinds of bags to sort through before putting anything back. Right now the living room is sparse and clean-looking, but it lacks that homeyness. Those items are in the bags, ready to be cleaned and sorted. If it doesn't belong, out it goes- either to the room it does belong or to the donations box.

Today and tomorrow we're working on the dining room. I figure if we take two days in each room on the first floor and take Fridays off to play games (now that we have access to them!), that leaves the weekends free. 

We'll keep doing this until both kids are in school or working. 

Years ago I told you I was a borderline hoarder. This was how I beat it. I'm still amazed at how bad things got before I saw it happening again- this time with my family. But I am so thankful that God motivated me to see what was going on and do something about it. 

And guess what? The bickering has almost completely stopped. Tempers have cooled and we even played around a little while we were working and the music was playing. When the work was done we had lunch together, talked, and enjoyed that precious time together as a family. And when my husband went to work, the kids and I watched a clutter-free movie- and didn't even have to look for the remote!

A Spark Rekindled

Two months ago, life came to a head and my muse decided to lock her doors and become a hermit.

I stopped being inspired. I stopped creating. I stopped everything.

Sometimes life gets so overwhelming, you just have to stop for a while to regroup. Sometimes you just need to stop and breathe. And sometimes you have to stop doing what you love to do what you need to do for your family.

So I did. 

Life hasn't stopped, but when my muse cracked open her door, I jammed my foot in before she could slam it on me again. I apologize to you, my Dear Readers, if it seemed like I fell off the map, but I wasn't about to trouble you with my issues either. I didn't want to turn this blog into a platform of Cheese and Whine.

That being said, I'm attending a writer's conference. In fact, I'm on my way out the door after writing this post! I wasn't going to go this year, but the leader of the conference insisted, so I went. I'm so glad I did.

When your muse ignores you and you're feeling all alone in the world, it does a body and mind good to talk with other Christians- Not necessarily about your issues (though I admit I did that a little), but to just have conversations with people who love to talk about God. Group prayer feels so much more powerful than prayers in private, and there's a connection with others when you sing hymns in unison with strangers. 

Strangers who are fast becoming friends.

And friends whom I've lost touch and now have reconnected.

This morning I woke up earlier than I normally do, because my muse decided to unlock the door to take a peek at the outside world. Honestly, her timing stinks (4 am...really Muse? Really?), but I welcome her with open arms and extra bacon for breakfast. We have a lot of work to do.

And a lot of blog posts to write!

Ministry Momma Bear

I try really hard not to be too serious. I really do. But sometimes things just get so bear-poo crazy that there is nothing to do but get serious- or at least more serious than normal.

Our entire family works in ministry. We love it. We help people, invite people over to our home on Sundays, feed them, talk to them, and try to help them see God in everything around them. We have helped a lot of people in the years we've lived here, and have been so blessed by it all. We encourage our church members to do the same.

You know you're doing really well in the Lord when the bear-poo hits the fan. One teen in a family we were trying to help has now threatened one of my kids, and my husband. Severely threatened. The odd thing is, no one can figure out why.

And there's nothing we can do about it until this teenager actually does something. 

The only thing we can think of is this teens need for affection is so strong, jealousy has taken over and all they want is to destroy what my kids have. 

This is the same kid that cried as I held them and fell asleep against me after a volcanic incident with a parent.
This is the same kid we played board games with, who had no idea what settled family life looked like.
This is the same kid who peeled apples with us as we sang gospel songs, getting ready for Thanksgiving.

And now, the same kid who is drinking, on drugs, and is now threatening bodily harm on my family.

Normally, I would Momma Bear this teen- Angry eyes, toe to toe, with a growl that says 'Don't even think of messing with my kids!' - but I can't Momma Bear him. How can I Momma Bear a kid I'd considered one of my own cubs?

I know this teenager needs comfort so desperately. Momma Bearing is the last thing this kid needs. Inside their heart is a great person who has a craving for Gods' love. I've seen it. But the environment that surrounds them is taking over, and there's nothing I can do about it except pray, lock my doors and windows at night, and keep my own kids safe. 

My Momma Bear heart is so torn right now.

One of these blow-ups happened at our church. Afterward, my husband overheard one congregant say, 'And that is why we don't have people over our house."

That's not the point.

One incident in hundreds isn't going to stop us from doing what we do. We won't let it. God won't let it. We'll still have people over, and we'll still feed them, talk, and let them fall asleep against us, tears and all. That won't change.

But now I understand why Jesus says 'He leaves the ninety-nine to go after the one that went astray'- Because Jesus has a Momma Bear heart too. I want that kid back. I want to love on them until the hate in their heart is gone. Help them get settled in their heart and mind. 

And if they decide to remain lost? 

Well, God doesn't mind if Momma Bear prayers are made with tears.

Super Heat Waves

Once upon a time, I was sitting on the couch nearly dying of heat stroke.

It was March. 

We just had snow. 

And the rest of my family was shivering and under heavy quilts.

I, however, could've stripped down to my undies and sat on a block of ice, and I still would've been hot.

"Hey! Who turned up the heat?" I yelled to the quivering pile of blankets. Their only response is chattering teeth.

Humph.

I checked the thermostat to make sure someone didn't pull an 'I just moved it a couple of clicks' stunt, but it wasn't touched. Apparently, my hormones were raging again.

But I'd had a hysterectomy. There are no more hormones...right?

A word to the wise; hysterectomies don't stop menopausal heat waves!

Apparently estrogen is stored in the fat cells, to which I have a plethora. I'm just a big hormone bank that's been saving the stuff with each pound I'd gained, which is no small feat! And guess what happens when you start losing some of that poundage? No wonder the doc told me I wouldn't need supplements probably ever!

For the past few weeks my internal oven has been set to volcanic. It used to be a humid, clammy, ogre's armpit kind of heat, one that will melt metal chairs into puddles of aluminum and sweat. But since the surgery, it's been more of a dry, Arizonian desert kind of heat.

And my husband loves it. You know, the guy with the ice-cold everything adhered to as much of my person as possible so he stays warm at night. It's hard to sleep when you're nearly being strangled by the one you love.

Even my friends are wowed by the intense heat emanating from every pore of my being. They hold their hands out over my arm, expressions of disbelief turning to one of incredulity as they warm themselves by their buddy, The Organic Radiator. Hey- maybe I'm a superhero!

Save us Radiator! We're freezing! And with a wave of my arms, the house is now as balmy as Hawaii.

Then again, I could be a super villain. Maybe I'm the reason behind global warming!*GASP*

My villain name would be Solar Flare...give me chocolate- or else! The dark kind please, because the milk chocolate melts too fast in my hand- even those M&Ms would make a chocolaty rainbow in my palm- nothing is safe! Do this or I'll...um...melt your ice cream! 

Noooo!Anything but that!

I'd wear a cape, but that would be too many layers...I might go nuclear.

In the meantime my family will be spending the summer months grilling on my arms and toasting marshmallows over my head. We'll save so much on charcoal and wood this year!

Or maybe I'll hire myself out as a pool heater when the water's too cold. I like swimming!

The Organic Radiator to the rescue!

Rusty Gate Wisdom

God is amazing.

Have you ever been super busy? Like, crazy, off-the-hook busy> So busy that you heard yourself say (one too many times):
"I can't right now."
"Sorry, I don't have time.."
"Let me finish this other thing first..."

Yeah- me too.

Then God decided He'd had enough, and bestowed a boatload of wisdom on me that made my mind whirl.
I was busy, but not productive.
Relationships matter.
Being so busy made me miss chances to bless others.

I was busy doing 'things' instead of working on relationships.

But this week God decided to let a little light shine in through the tiny cracks in my thick head.

God is love. There is a verse that blew me away that went something like "You can make God's lessons as clear as day, but without love, your words are like the creaking of a rusty gate..." I never really understood what He meant by that. I always thought it meant you needed to speak with passion.

Passion is good, but relationship is better.

People listen more when they know you, love you, and trust you. In other words, your words have meaning when the person you're speaking with has a relationship with you!

God takes delight when I spend time with my family.
God loves it when I laugh and goof off with my friends when I need a break.
God is joyful when I open my house up to anyone who wants to come on Sundays after church.

I'm not saying forget responsibilities and goof off constantly- but there is a time to play and rest; I think all of us forget to have fun or just spend quiet time together with each other.

I may not get the laundry done when my daughter is sick, but she will remember the times I sat with her poor fevered head in my lap as I sang her to sleep. The same goes for putting off emails to play cards with my son, or a quiet evening at home reading books on the couch with my husband. These are the things my family will remember- not the fact that I always had clean socks waiting for them!

Yes it takes sacrifice and a big heart to forgo 'getting stuff done' to do these things sometimes. But the payoff is so much more rewarding when we do! Like the saying goes, "I have a messy house, but a happy family"- and what would make God happier than that?

Hug your kids, Kiss your husband extra awesome before he goes to work. Call your friend for a quick chat. Build those relationships and help make them strong. And don't forget to talk to God too- He's waiting to hear from you!

Back to the Waves

As a child, my parents took me to the beach. It was my favorite place, and I loved playing in the ocean. Sometimes I would put my back to the waves and close my eyes tight, daring the waves to do what they will. 
The sounds of rushing water would always send my heart racing, wondering if the wave would tickle my ankles, or crash against me and knock me over. It really didn't matter which; both were unexpected and delightful!

God's blessings are much like the waves of the ocean.

When I stop looking for blessings and turn my back on the waves, I get so much more out of blessing when they happen. Big or small, it doesn't matter. If I can see the waves coming I don't react as strong. I might brace myself for the bigger waves, but it isn't as much fun.

And honestly, we all need to have a little more fun! I think God is immensely pleased when He sees us enjoying His blessings.

I have no idea when the blessings will come, or what size blessing will come first. I have no idea how strong it will hit me- will I be gently blessed or will the blessing knock me for a loop? There's a thrill in not knowing when or how God will bless you when you stop looking- and when the wave comes, your gratefulness and appreciation are tenfold because it's unexpected.

And much more joyful!

Will you come play in the waves with me?

The Icing Lifestyle

It's all over the internet:

Start Your Own Business and Become a Millionaire!
Be an Entrepreneur!
Be Your Own Boss and Make Millions!

Tons of people selling tons of programs- some good, some not so good. But the premise is the same. The ultimate goal is to become a millionaire. 

I jumped on this particular bandwagon with both feet. Of course I wanted to be a millionaire! They are self sufficient, can go on vacations- heck, most of their year is a vacation! Work less, make more...no, make tons more! Being a millionaire is the end-all, be-all everyone should strive for to be happy.

Or is it?

At first, that's what I believed had to happen in order to have a happy life. Happiness for me was finally getting to go on a real vacation, where money was no object, and we could eat out every day for every meal, we could go where we wanted without having to worry if the vehicle we drove would make it, or have to make a budget for gas. And when we came home, I could swim in the backyard pool while someone else would clean my house.

The Icing Lifestyle. 

It sounds great, doesn't it? But if you read that paragraph again, you'll notice something missing. Something big. There's no Godly purpose. This dream goal isn't a lifestyle, it's a prison of self-induced greed.

There's no cake. It's all icing.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to do all of these things, but if this is all you want out of life, that's a problem. And to be honest, this used to be my goal! I don't thinkI'd make a good millionaire. I'd be to prone to get lost in being spoiled and pampered, and not think much about helping others.

Oh, at first I thought 'When I become a millionaire, I can help people out of the same ruts I'm in. I can help a lot of people!' Let's be honest here- some people are worse off when handed a wadful of cash. Cash isn't the answer to everything.

Wow. 

Money isn't everything. 

Well, dip me in butter and call me a biscuit, this was a new concept for me!

I have three online gurus I listen to. One is a millionaire, one might be a millionaire (but doesn't state if she is or not), and one is more of a thousandaire or six-figureaire. And they all agree on one thing- you need to have purpose to live a happy life.

The money is the icing on the cake- not the cake itself. The cake is your Godly purpose. The icing is the blessings that come with the cake.

Have you ever had cake with too much icing? The first taste might be good, but after a while you don't want to finish it- it's just too sweet. Either that or you get a sugar rush the size of a small state, and wind up crashing in the middle of the birthday party!
But a cake that has the right amount of frosting not only tastes better, but lasts longer because you can enjoy it more. You can savor it. And when you're done, you feel satisfied.

It took a lot of prayer and looking deep within myself to realize I don't want to be a millionaire. I'd be perfectly content being a six-figureaire, and not a high six-figureaire at that. After talking with my husband, we both realized we'd be content with less than a third (or even a quarter) of a millionaires salary, so that's our new goal. Enough so we can do all the things we've been dreaming about, but also allows us to remain financially humble and help others wisely. 

Maybe you could handle more icing on your cake, maybe you'd be content with less. Just remember to make the cake the best it can be first, and God will bless you with all the icing you need!

Limits Equal...Freedom?!?

I know- that sounds weird, right? How can limiting anything equal freedom? 

Well, if you limit your food intake, you're freed up from all that extra weight...
If you limit your time underwater, you won't drown...
And if you limit your work, you have more time to recoup and recharge.

Limits are starting to sound really good, aren't they?

I still have yet to do the first, I do the second one only when swimming, and the third? The third is what I've been focusing most of my attention on lately.

Lent allows me (since it's still going on until the 25th), to limit myself. I refrained from having a screen in my face for most of my day. Doing so lead to another limit- this one concerning time. I had to find a balance between work and relaxation that would make me a vegetable or a workaholic. 

Last week I had a plethora of time, but the total time spent wasn't blessing my family. Writing is my passion, but when I was honest with myself, not a full-time job- not yet. The two airport driving jobs I do weren't bringing in enough regular work, so I decided to take the plunge and drive for Uber.

At first it was great. Then I began tipping those scales into all-work-and-no-play mode. I had to limit my time so I could be a better blessing for my family at home. Money isn't everything, though I admit, it truly used to be for me!

By limiting myself, I found I had more freedom. I worked when the family didn't need me. I'm home when they do (for the most part- they've learned that me not being there 24/7 is okay too.) When I was home I was productive and even made time to play games with the kids. Yes- even teenagers (especially teenagers!) need some fun mom-and-dad time! 

Have you ever noticed when you have a lot of home time you don't feel like doing much else once the chores are done? Or working all the time makes work really boring and tedious? If you limit your time with both, the blessings are incredible!

If you're finding yourself tired or bored with life, see where your time is being spent. Find the places that might need limits to be more productive. I never realized that I could get more done in a limited time frame until I only had 'this much time' to get it done! 
If you have hours and the tasks takes an hour, you have all day to get it done. But if you limit yourself, things get revved up and you now have more of a reason to finish in the time allotted- freeing you up for the rest of the day!

Look at your day. Find places to limit yourself. Then get out there and be a blessing- and blessed!

Lent Life Lessons Part Deux- Slips and Stumbles

Two weeks into Lent...not sure if it's gone so fast or not fast enough!

Two weeks of no PC games and no Netflix. No TV at all, really- not even Youtube, unless it was educational, or something a family member was watching. I relinquished all control of the remote.

My family loved it. Apparently I'm a remote hog.

Ten days in was my first true stumble- I didn't even realize I'd done it until I'd clicked onto another video...and another. It started innocently enough- there was a post on Facebook that was interesting, and I played it. (And yes, it was educational!) but then, that sinister sneak of a sidebar had something that was tied to the video I just watched, so I clicked. Next thing you know, I'm watching clips from Jimmy Fallon.

I love Jimmy Fallon. He is such a kid at heart! But what I was watching was definitely within the No-No Zone for my Lent Media Fast.

Oops.

I barely lasted ten days!

I could have beaten myself up over it, but to be honest, I now find myself getting annoyed when I do. Mistakes happen- I fell back into a bad habit without realizing it, so it wasn't as if I twirled my handlebar mustache and said 'Yes! YES! I shall now intentionally do this bad deed and break my Lent commitment! MWAHAHAHAA!!'  

That was a metaphorical handlebar mustache, by the way. I hope not to have a real one for several years yet. But the metaphor is still valid.

So back on the Clydesdale I went, making sure this time I would behave myself. 

But I slipped again! Just an hour later!

Frustrated, I wound up turning the computer off after that and looked for something better to do- like wrestle greased alligators naked. At least then I wouldn't be able to click on any stupid distracting links!

Lucky for me I didn't need to go naked alligator wrestling. I had an entire house to declutter. I did that for most of the day until I had to make dinner- another great thing to do to keep from being distracted- and it blesses my family!

The rest of the week went well, and I learned a lot more from my gurus, including scheduling time for fun and rest as well as the busy must-get-done stuff. I'm even working on a calendar for the week, month, and year so I can plan fun things way ahead of time (like Creation, which always seems to creep up on us and we never have the money to go!) as well as bigger projects (like the cooking videos) and goals (like getting debt free ASAP). 
This scheduling project alone should take me a few days to a week to properly implement, but once I get the initial balls rolling, it will get easier and easier. My main goal is to have a plan in place by the end of Lent so I don't have time to binge-watch shows anymore- unless I plan them!

Fourteen days down, twenty-six to go. Twenty-six days to get my schedule and my Schmidt together. My muse has awakened from her coma, and pesters me with ideas all the time again. Frankly, I thought she was dead. I hadn't had a fast flow of ideas this much in ages, and it makes me excited for the future once more. 

I'm so glad I did this challenge for Lent!

Lessons Learned:

I'm a much happier person when I'm productive.
I'm a less happier person if that's all I do the entire day.
Fun times must be scheduled as much as work time- otherwise it might never be scheduled!
I found that when I'm busy I eat less and eat better- especially if I purposely heat up healthy dinner leftovers for lunch the next day.
Scheduling exercise is a must as well- and something I need to work on...badly.
I sleep like a brick at night after a productive and fun day- better sleep than after a completely productive one!

How are you doing with your challenges (if you made them)?

Lent Life Lessons

Lent started on Valentines Day this year. Weird. I only know that because someone said Lent fell on this goodie-indulgent day, and I know many people who usually swear off chocolate for Lent, aren't doing so this year!

This year I decided to give Lent a try. I don't normally do Lent. Ever. But this year I decided to see if I had the guts to give up something and stick with it.

And it had to be something big. Giving up small stuff wasn't going to cut it.

God and I have been at odds lately. I've found myself going to Netflix and PC games more and more, drowning myself in games and TV characters lives so I can forget the troubles in my own universe. Games let me attain goals. Attaining goals is good- though with games it's short-lived.
Very short-lived.
And once the Netflix show is over (or in my case, the entire dang series), there I am, back to my own life.
Back to life...back to reality... (I hear you humming it!)

I found myself unable to get out of the game/TV loop. Then along comes Lent. A chance to attain some real goals. But could I do forty days? That's a really long time!

I glanced at my messy writing desk, the piles of unfinished projects, the unread books, the cluttered craft table, and an email cache that could gag an elephant. Then I wondered if forty days was enough.

So I took the plunge. No Netflix. No PC games. I allowed myself games on my cell phone, but deleted the longer term ones and kept Solitaire and Flow Free. And the only entertaining screen watching I could do was if another family member was watching something on the big TV- which isn't often. Basically, when the family sits down to a show or movie, I can too- which is no more than twice a week, if that.

I woke up Valentines Day with an agenda.
I cleaned, straightened, and decluttered papers, and went through emails I've been meaning to read for almost a month. I barely made a dent in them. I also printed out recipes I'd been saving in my emails for months- which are now three hole punched and ready to go into my 'try these' recipe binders. Yes, binders. Plural. But that's a project for a different day.

I'll be honest here. I was sorely tempted to play some games when going through my emails. It was more out of habit than an actual desire, so I managed to squelch it quickly, but the want was still there.

By eight o'clock that night, I was nodding off. The day seemed to last forever!

Day two was interesting because after I was finished running errands, I was hoping the kids would want to watch something so I could watch too. My daughter was nice enough to offer to switch her choice of show (Transformers- anything Transformers!) to something I would be more inclined to watch- an animal program. We watched a single episode together before we both got back to chores.
I loved it, but part of me knew better that to sway my daughter's choice again- that was bending my own rule- a big No-No. So back to work we went.

I got through a few more emails- I'm involved with three guru type life coaches with free content, so most of these were newsletters or short videos of things I needed to watch. Not wanted to watch per se, but needed to watch in order to learn something. Learning videos are allowed because I'm not using them to escape.
I took a few more virtual comedy classes I'd paid for months ago, but never could 'find the time' to finish. I managed to read a little, but not as much as I should have.

My craft table was cleared off and sorted. I'd found half of a cookbook in the piles of crafting printouts- this half-book had the recipe for Pizzelles I'd been looking for since November! Lucky for me the other half (that was still downstairs where it should be) wasn't thrown out (though I almost did!) and the book is now whole once more. This was the only recipe I really liked for Pizzelles- I felt like I'd found buried treasure!

By the end of day two, I found myself nodding off again around eight o'clock. Why was I nodding off an hour before my actual bedtime?

Because I was active. 
More active than I was watching Netflix or playing PC games. My brain was more active too, because I was learning most of the day. I almost gave in to habit twice near the end of the day because I was tired and wanted to relax. So I forced myself to walk away from the computer, shut off the TV entirely (it's usually in sleep mode) and sit and read instead. I fell asleep- I mean checked my eyelids for light leaks- within a few minutes, then gave up and went to bed early.

I learned a lot about myself in just two days.

I learned:

I'm much more productive when not distracted.
I'm more physically active- I like to work a little upstairs and then go downstairs when things get tedious (and vice versa).
Emails don't seem as overwhelming, now that I see the numbers going down.
I see progress in decluttering my home and work spaces.
I feel more accomplished.
I also found myself sleeping more solidly than before.  A very nice side effect!

The rest of the week was interesting because the 'shiny' was beginning to wear off. What do I mean by that, you ask? It means I started something new, and the excitement was waning. Fast.

I began to realize that in taking out all of the 'fun stuff', I'd never added any non-screen fun stuff to replace it. It's draining to clean and work and learn all day long with no interlude to let the mind rest! It's also not good to find fun things to do, because forty days of nothing but work not only makes Jacqueline a dull girl, it makes her grumpy and not want to make it to the finish line.

I have to change things up if I wanted to keep things going!

So some of my reading material was switched out with books for purely entertainment purposes. I set aside some crafts to do once certain things were cleaned/cleared off in my sewing space (which also makes for good motivation to get the work done!)

I also programmed our entertainment system for different types of music to fit my changing moods- relaxing tones for reading or background noise, thumping, upbeat music when working, or silly songs when I'm doing something particularly hard or boring. And when it gets too much and I need some quiet time or prayer, it shuts off with the touch of a button.

I wish I could say everything is worked out or scheduled, but I can't, because life changes. I love having things all lined up in neat rows, but I know this is not the season for that- it's a chaotic season and I need to roll with the punches- and it's so much easier to roll when my eyes are focused on a PC game or Netflix!

Today is the sixth day. Just the sixth day. Six down (almost) and twenty-five to go. And I'm so glad you're here taking the walk with me in spirit! I appreciate you, my dear readers!

Are you walking down a similar path? Have you given up something for Lent- or just in general to see what happens or make a lifestyle change? Tell me about it in the comments!

Tough Love 101

Tough love is never easy. That's why it's not called 'Rainbow Unicorn Fart' love.

It's tough.
It's love.
And it breaks Mom hearts all over the world. Dad hearts too.

Parents don't want to tough love their kids. They want them to listen, learn, and as they get older, debate, learn more, and grow.

But sometimes debating turns to arguments. Ears close on both sides of the fence. And the fully fledged bird refuses to leave the nest. 

Parents have to make their babies take wing if they refuse to do it themselves. And it's one of the hardest things for a parent to do. 

We constantly ask ourselves...
Have we been too harsh? Not harsh enough? 
We taught them all we know- why aren't they flying? 
Have we made life too easy? Too hard? 
And what steps do we need to take now so our children can go out in the world and be the stellar beings God made them to be?

So what do you do with a child that doesn't make much effort to be independent?

You go to the Bible.

Proverbs 12:11 says Those who work their land will have abundant food, but those who chase fantasies have no sense.

Proverbs 19:15 says Laziness brings on deep sleep, and the shiftless go hungry.

2 Thessalonians 3:10 says For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: "The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat."

You teach them God's will. You show them the scripture. You talk, help them come up with a game plan, but you don't execute it- your fledgling has to. 

Even our pastor was asking why we're still feeding our fledgling! At the time three square meals a day was the norm; we had to make some changes.

We did. Our fledgling just got used to the changes and made no changes to their behavior. We upgraded (or downgraded?) more changes with the same result. Nothing we did worked.

We had to start pushing our child out of the nest.

This is where a parents' heart breaks. We have to send them out into the world and lock the door behind them. In our case, The fledgling in question has Aspergers. Very high functioning and quite capable of holding a job, but makes almost no effort to find work- for more than six months now. 
We've done everything we can think of to help, but we're waved away like annoying insects. It's been a strain on the entire family, and though we hate to do it, we need to let our fledgling go.

We found a program for autistic adults. Our fledgling has a certain amount of time to find work, but when that time is up (by the end of this week), we have to make a call for this program to come and get him. They have the training, knowledge and the 'I'm not your parent' factor that will help our fledgling fly on their own. They provide housing, and teach the skills needed to be independent.

We love them enough to let them go. We have to. If we don't, we're enablers. And let's be honest here- we won't live forever (at least not on Earth!) and what will happen if my fledgling can't fly when my Father calls us home?

None of us would prosper from it.

Tough Love 101- As a parent, you have to do things you don't want to concerning your kids. You have to let them deal with their own consequences. You have to let them get hurt, flounder, and yes, even get into trouble in order to get them to understand the world doesn't owe them anything- and that they will prosper only if they are willing to work for it.

God does this all the time. His heart breaks when we mess up. Sometimes He rescues us, sometimes not- and we have to learn to do the same for our children when the time comes.

I pray that God gives me the strength to not only do this if I have to, but to not cave in if it does happen- and to give my fledgling the strength to fly.

We hope someday soon to see our fledgling soar!

Don't Wait For Normal

Have you ever told yourself this before?

'I'll wait until things settle down.'
'I'll get back to my normal routine soon.'
'I can't until things get back to normal again!'

The problem is, most of the time, things don't get 'back to normal'. 

Normal isn't normal anymore. Our old routines, schedules, and our lifestyles change at a rapid pace, and we always hope to get back to normal once more. We were satisfied with life until God throws a monkey wrench into the works.

How do I know? I've been trying to get back to my 'normal' for two years!

I don't remember my old normal anymore. I remember working a lot, losing weight, and life seemed to be running quite smoothly. I'd been writing regularly, and even published a few journals. I was on my way to hire an artist so I could get my written works in print.

Then came the wrench. Or should I say wrenches. Many of our friends and family were called to heaven. I had to have major surgery. And in the midst of recovering from all of that, my son's college aspirations went merrily down the toilet. Then the many jobs I used to have dwindled down to no jobs- some by circumstance, some by choice.

There were also some good wrenches. I've been able to take online classes, read some great self-improvement books, and find ways to make my own illustrations. My husband's schedule went from first to second shift. Several opportunities for an at-home business popped up.

I have to stop waiting for the old normal to come back- it packed its bags two years ago, and yet here I sit, day after day, looking forlornly out of the window waiting for it to come back like the prodigal son.

The old normal is gone for good- I'm not waiting for it anymore. I'm going to create a new normal from the chaos.

In fact, I think chaos is my new normal! Everything has changed; My eating habits, exercise regimen, and our financial situation; our family life and even bedtime is completely different than it used to be.

So many things have changed that I'm still reeling from it- but I'm also learning to roll with the punches and appreciate the positives.

I have more time with my husband because he doesn't go to work until the afternoon.
My son is learning more about responsibility and independent living at home before he leaves the nest.
I have quiet time in the evenings to read, or spend some 'mom time' with my daughter.
My husband and I have time to start an at-home business.

I don't know why God threw so many wrenches our way in the past two years. I'm not focusing on why it happened, because the end result is the same- our lives changed to a new normal. Life will continue to change. And though there are hard times, God gets us through the chaos and back on track. 

Don't wait for your 'normal' to return. Get up from the window and make plans. Do something. Don't wait for things to settle down. They probably won't. Even if things do settle, they won't settle the same way they used to! 

I know it's hard, but you can do it. God is always by your side, lending you His strength, wisdom, and guidance with every new step you take. Now go take those wrenches and build yourself a new and better normal!