God, The Ventriloquist

I've been asking God a lot of things lately. Most of my requests have been "Where do You want me to go?" and "What am I really supposed to be doing?"

I waited for God to answer me for a week. Then two. I sat, I prayed, I listened. Sometimes I did chores, sometimes I fell asleep. The only answer I heard was 'Be patient. I have plans for you.'

Well whoop-dee-stinkin'-doo- what did that mean? I knew He wanted me to stay home (read: work out of my home while caring for my family), and I knew He had plans for me, but good grief- can't He give me a hint or point me in the right direction? I was no better off than I started!

Oh, God loves it when I get all frustrated and whiny. That's when He works through others to answer my impatient queries. He speaks through them, and waits to see if I'm listening.

This time, he used two pastors at church. Not one, but two.

Both pastors said things that blew my mind.

The first pastor spoke about Cain and Abel, and how attitude is everything. The right attitude can change everything- and obviously by my 'whoop-dee-doo' comment above, my attitude about an answer was less than aromatic. 

The second pastor preached about 'staying in your own lane'. To stop comparing ourselves with others concerning everything- not just our appearance, but our successes and failures as well. That last revelation made me realize that I'd been comparing myself to every successful newbie writer, and I've been trying to 'run in their lane' instead of my own. I followed every path that they did, every genre they did, hoping for the same result. The problem is I'm not them, and my style of writing isn't the same as theirs.

And I wonder why I'm not making any progress? I'm too tired from running everyone else's races!

God answered me through others, just like a ventriloquist. His words, their mouths. It was awesome! After church, I gave my problems a good, hard look.

Then I put on a new set of running shoes and marked my own path. 

I can't guarantee that I'll stick to my path; I've been running other races for so long it's a habit that needs breaking- but I hope to follow my own track until I reach the finish line. 

After all that's where God wants me to be! 

Back In The Daze

My mind is totally numb when I think about my kids being home for the summer this year.

Both kids now have their working papers- my son is 17, my daughter is 14. Both tell me they want to work.

My son has yet to lift the phone or do any research or legwork to lay the foundation to land a job. He thinks he can just ask for one, and get it. Maybe it's an Aspergers thing, but I don't think so. He does manage to find the oddest jobs to do though, so maybe he will!

He wants to work at Chic-Fil-A. Why? Because they are Christian, and they have food. I don't think much will get thrown out if he works there- maybe our grocery bills will go down too- they did when my husband left home to marry me, and he left a family of eight!

My daughter wants to volunteer at a therapy horse ranch. She's working towards becoming an animal cop. She is laying the groundwork. I don't care if it's voluntary- she has a plan.

But what can I do to help them in the off days? I thought a lemonade/iced tea stand would be a great money maker that we can all do for the summer.

At least until I was told we can't. We need to be licensed first.

Wait....What?

Back in the days of the dinosaurs when I was an amoeba, kids could have a paper route, set up a lemonade stand, sell homemade cookies door to door, and offer our services to clean up trash, rake leaves and shovel snow (obviously this one isn't a summer thing, but you get the idea.) Kids could earn money as long as they were willing to work- and people supported them by buying from them and hiring them for yard work. Now the law says we need a permit?

So I looked into it. We don't need a license- we need two. And a tax ID number. The Tax ID and the commercial license are free, but the one we want- sidewalk vendor- is a whopping 300.00...

...a year.

This is lemonade, people- not Fillet Mignon. We'd have to hard sell all summer to break even!

Can we really blame the kids of today for not waning to work? Have that laws made it impossible for kids to start a business or do it to earn enough for a game or a new shirt? And if the food is made within the home (like cookies) you also need L&I to come do an inspection of your home and a FoodSafe certificate.

I don't know about your city, but these are the rules in ours. Part of me wants to just throw my hands in the air and forget the entire thing, but another part of me wants to fight the laws and allow kids to have a lemonade stand, for heaven's sake!

I liked the simpler times. You put up a stand, sold cups of something yummy, and even the police would stop by for a sip or two. Now we need working papers, licenses, tax numbers and inspections, squashing a you8ng entrepreneur before they step foot outside the door. What's this world come to that a kid that wants to work, can't?

To Do Or Not To Do? That Is The Problem!

My brain has officially stopped functioning on an intelligent level. I can eat (and eat, and eat), brush my hair, and do all the necessary body maintenance, but when it comes to doing anything productive, my brain has gone on vacation.

I'm in "information overload".

I wrote a book. I asked advice on what to do next. Self or traditional publishing? Little did I know I opened the writers 'Pandora's box'. I was overwhelmed with responses containing so much information, there was no way I could have it all read and processed in a month and come to a reasonable decision. Instead of having a better Idea of what I wanted, I'm more confused than ever.

I have a small platform. I have a blog, website, Facebook and Twitter accounts. I post once a week, and hope my posts reach enough people to make the world a happier place. So I started looking into promoting myself, and got slammed with even more information than I did publishing!

There's a lot of information on the internet. That's good, but it's also bad. Reading about everything on the subject used to mean a library book (if you were lucky to find even one on an unpopular subject), writing down the pros and cons, then making a decision. Now the pros and cons list is so long I'd be endangering trees if I wrote it all down on paper. I need a pros and cons list for my pros and cons list!

My poor tortured brain made the decision for me. it took a hike. I can now concentrate only on dripping faucets, chirping birds, and wall paint. We have nice wall paint here.

I should take a sabbatical from the internet. But that poses it's own problems. When I get back, I'd have to play catch-up on everything- emails, posts, and messages. I'd be overwhelmed once more and this time, my brain might not come back.

But not taking a break could do the same thing! I really need to find a happy medium here. Like a vacation. But I know better. I haven't been on vacation since my honeymoon eighteen years ago.

Maybe take a day off from the house. Get out. Get perspective. Maybe find a cabin in the woods for the weekend to recharge the old batteries. Then when I come home I'll have a better perspective. At least after i catch up on emails and Facebook posts. 

Sigh.

The good thing is I'm running a charity event for a local recreation center. I can focus on that and leave the other stuff behind for a while. No more reading posts of platforms or publishing- at least this week. Maybe I can clear my mind before the event is over this weekend.

One blessing God bestowed upon me was meeting several authors at an impromptu book signing this past weekend. I spoke with the authors- a mixed bag of genres as well as self and traditionally published books- and I learned a lot. I really enjoyed speaking with the self-publishing guy. He was open, honest, and had no problem telling me the harsh truths and trails of being self-published, and what it takes. He had a lot of good information. I took his card and several others. Something to think about this week.

To do or not to do? That really is the question. I hate the snails' pace I'm going right now, but that might just be the pace God wants me to go. A big part of me keeps scheming for ways to make a quick buck, but that's not always the best way, dagnabbit.

Prayer has helped a lot. Just sitting outside, clearing my mind and asking God "Now what?" after telling Him my troubles, then sitting back and listening for an answer. Sometimes I don't get one. I hear the birds chirping, or the wind caresses my face, and I just sigh and let His peace flow over me. Sometimes that's all that's needed to clear the cobwebs.

To do or not to do? I still don't know. But with prayer and answer comes closer each day. I feel it in my bones- an undercurrent of possibilities that can take me anywhere God wants me to go. Wherever that is. But the idea is clearer each day and that's comforting.

I just hope my brain comes back before I get my answer!

I'm Biznofrenic!

There I go again- inventing words!

Biznofrenic means I want to start not just one business, but twenty of them. I just don't have the means or the business degrees to get started.

I'm always coming up with ideas for businesses I'd love to run- anything from a bed and breakfast to a cafe, a creative arts retail store to combination fabric outlet and quilter's retreat- you name it, I probably thunk it. 

If I was a millionaire, I'd probably spend it all starting new businesses, then having others help me run the darn things because I just can't handle twenty different venues at once. But you need the million to make the million, so everything remains written down as concepts in several notebooks, note pads and post-its.

Basically I want to make my own Disney-like mall that would contain all kinds of shops and buildings for your shopping and relaxing pleasure. Imagine if you will, an Inn tucked away within the woods, complete with walking trails, bike paths, scenic spots with benches, and bird watching/feeding stations. 

Now imagine a restaurant that had it's own farm with enough acreage for animals and beekeeping (as far from folk as possible of course!), complete with greenhouses for the winter months. The greenhouses are self-sustaining with embedded tanks filled with fresh fish to supply the food-bearing plants with nutrients, supplying the restaurant with fresh organic ingredients all year long. You can grow a million pounds of food on just a few acres this way!
Not to mention scenic spots landscaped for wedding parties- and a gazebo, maybe two.

Next would be the conference hall that would allow speakers to speak, specialized teachers to hold classes, have conferences for businesses, writers, or anyone else that had a large group and no where to teach them. During the slow periods, I'd have local businesses come in and to train those willing homeless or low-income folk for new skills. 
This of course would be near the restaurant for breakfast, lunch and dinner breaks (free for the trainers and trainees of course)- with my husband's freshly made pies for dessert.

And the shopping!

Stores would have art and high-quality crafts from local artisans, as well as fun stores that sell toys, games and all those cool, goofy things that encourage kids to have fun. A bookstore is a must, and would have it's own section for self-published works from the locals (if they're good, that is!) 
Maybe even a T-shirt shop, complete with a computer system where you can design your own shirts- oh yeah-coolness overload right there. And tie-dye workshops- gotta have that too. Let's not forget the fabric store (and tie-dyed quilting fabrics!) who would work with the artisan shop to display fantastic fabric art and hold competitions for the locals. 

And a church. Nothing fancy, but one that's filled with the love of God and the Spirit of serving others. A church that makes you feel like your home when you walk through the doors. A church to make God smile.

Twice a year we'd hold a fair on the entire grounds, complete with funnel cakes, cotton candy, and all the fun food and rides you can think of, complete with contests and challenges for both the vendors and visitors for total family fun. 

Wouldn't you love to spend time at a place like this? And this is just off the top of my head! I can safely say I'm a Biznofrenic. I think you'd agree.

And all I need is a few million under my belt. That's not much to ask...is it?