Monday, July 24, 2017

Coming Apart at the 'Seems'

Yes, we've all done it. We've all watched someone going about their day, and we come to our own conclusions. Many times those conclusions are wrong.

Sometimes they are really wrong.

We see the well-dressed neighbor and her well-behaved children piling into their brand-new vehicle, and we imagine their perfect life as they drive off; we look at our own rugrats (who are painting the cat purple and running around like rampant lion cubs) and gaze into the hallway mirror wondering how that tired-looking woman in the reflection lost control.

Or the guy who seems to have everything- a pretty wife, great kids, and he always seems to be working in the backyard or on the house with the latest and greatest tools and equipment, complete with a shiny new van.

We envy our neighbor sometimes. But we only see the outside of their lives, not what's actually going on. It seems as if all is well, but is it really?

Then we find out later on that the neighbor that was so well-dressed was taking her children to the courthouse to try to gain custody from a divorce gone bad. Looking good is the only thing she can do to cope, and she feels like there's no one else to talk to.
The guy that seems to have everything had his truck totalled when he lent it to a friend, lost his job as a result of the accident, and is using a rental van to get around, borrowing his friends tools to do odd jobs and working on the house in case they have to sell because he can't find work. He pours his frustrations into fixing what he can, because life is getting out of control.

People who 'seem' to have it all together, usually don't. Take a look at your life. Parts of it are probably a mess right now. Yet someone is looking at us and assuming all is well! I've had people assume things about me that are way off base; But those assumptions dissipate once they talk to me- and then we have a good laugh!

She's so creative! I bet her house is like a museum of art! Only if you consider dust bunnies and cat hair an art-form.

She's published so many books! I could never talk to her about writing- she's out of my league. All writers started our as new writers. And this writer loves to talk shop! 

Her kids are so polite and her husband is so nice! They probably never have family issues. You'd be wrong there on so many levels. Polite kids take a ton of work, and even then they aren't always at their best- just like the rest of us! As for my husband- he is nice, but we still argue on occasion!

She has the best marriage/kids/life/whatever! We've had our trials, issues and hardships. Just because we don't show them doesn't mean they don't exist. And when someone talks with us and those 'seems' are mended, that's when friendships are born!

Talk to your neighbors and church members, and engage in your community. Get involved with others and repair those ripped 'seems' with stitches of friendship! You never know how many lives you touch just by talking to someone- help them (and you!) from coming apart at the 'seems'!


Anonymous said...

Really lovely thoughts expressed with heartfelt skill

Unknown said...

Great post, Beth! I realized this a couple years ago in my own life. I often just have to look across the street and see the new big houses, expensive cars, and seemingly lovely and perfect families. What I didn't know at that time was that one was in foreclosure. The wife and kids left first, then the husband a month or so later. I'm not sure if they even stayed together.
And then, just recently, a new friend told me that she "wants what we have". I told her that there were some things in her life that I wish that we had. We ended the conversation realizing that everyone seems to think that "the grass is always greener" on the other side-what we don't think is that manure has been fertilizing that grass for years. Thank you for sharing this post. I look forward to your posts weekly. Very uplifting and encouraging!

Unknown said...

Great post, Beth! I just realized this a few years ago in my own life. I often just have to look across my street and see the new houses, expensive cars, and seemingly lovely families. What I don't know is what really happens in their lives. For instance, one family's home was in foreclosure about 4 years ago. The wife and kids left first, and then the husband a month or so later. I'm not even positive they stayed together.
And a new friend just recently told me that "she wants what we have". I couldn't help but to tell her that there was a few things in her life that I wouldn't mind for me! After talking about this for awhile, we concluded that everyone seems to think that "the grass is always greener"- what we don't think about is that grass over there has been fertilized with manure for years.
We often see things on the surface, never realizing the true nature of what happens to get it. Or keep it. Or, in some instances, not be able to handle it. Thank you for posting this blog, it is both uplifting and inspiring! I look forward to reading this weekly!

Beth Brubaker said...

@Anonymous Thank you so much! :)

Beth Brubaker said...

@Shannon Smith Thank you Shannon! I wonder why it's so easy to envy others and so hard be grateful for what we have?

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