Those that know me know I love giving to others. I like making things, baking, and the best time of the year for me to do this en masse is during the Christmas holidays. Every year we bake a bazillion cookies (okay, our record is about 150 dozen, not a bazillion, but you get the idea), and other goodies like pies and breads, and we enjoy giving most of them away. My husband even makes this awesome hot fudge for ice cream.
We blast Christmas songs, singing at the top of our lungs as we move about the kitchen and dining room like a well-buttered machine for at least a week, and when the baking is done, I'm usually the one to create goody baskets for friends, family and other folks that surround us, like teachers, trashmen, and postal workers.
It's a lot of work, but so much fun to see people smile when they get one of our baskets!
This year is different. For many reasons, I can't do the things I normally do for the holidays- and it's driving me crazy!
I'm physically unable to make treats this year. I can't even go shopping! I took one little ride with my husband the other day- I didn't even get out of the van when he went food shopping- and it exhausted me. No shopping by myself, grocery or otherwise, for at least a few more weeks.
Despite the crowds, I love meandering about the stores looking for Christmas gifts. I love the music, the twinkling decorations, and even the cold weather as I shop. I don't fight the crowds- I just allow myself a ton of extra time so the experience is a pleasant one.
But not this year. Bah, humbug!
Note to self- never get major surgery before the holidays!
My husband usually makes and sells pies this time of year for our Christmas fund- but he had to turn down people simply because he's too busy taking care of me and keeping the house in order. He is one tired fella, and all I can do for him is hug him when he sits with me on the couch. Poor guy.
We are hospitality people. We were born to give. And it's irking me that we can't do that this year. It truly breaks my heart! People like us need to give to others, otherwise we're miserable- It's a hospitality thing.
That's why you'll never see conferences for hospitality people, because we'd be too busy trying to help each other run the darn thing; no one would attend the talks! Weird but true.
Let me help you...no...let me help you! To infinity and beyond. Yep, that's us.
Giving is a big part of out holiday, and when we can't give, I'm just not feeling Christmas-ish. So here I sit, wondering how I can get everyone to do Christmas in January instead. I guess that's the control freak in me, always trying to find a loophole to make it work.
But I have no control. God does. And I know He's using moments like this to grow me.
Ugh. I don't want to be growing- I want to be shopping, and baking, and wrapping, and, and, and....
Maybe He has a point. That's not really what Christmas is about. But I don't need to tell you that- there are tons of articles online concerning 'The Reason for the Season' each year- you don't need me to preach to the choir. But sometimes I get so lost in the giving that I forget why I'm doing all of it in the first place.
So I'll sit and recover. I'll pray. I'll read my Bible. Maybe chat with a friend or two about God and His will for us this next year. Maybe ask my daughter to make me some Christmas cookies.
But most importantly, do a little growing as I heal.
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