I'm Raising Hobbits

I'd never thought I'd see the day when my kids could out-eat me. But it's happened. Not just in one way, but in two:

One, I'm trying to eat less to try to figure out my 'Satisfaction Zone'. Ooh, that sounds like a good book title, or a great topic for my public speaking repertoire- I'm writing that down! Basically, I'm finding out I'm not as hungry as I thought I'd be if I just have a little something now, then a little something later, instead of one big ol' something now. But that's for another post.

Two, my kids are turning into hobbits, without the hairy feet. It's not uncommon to hear the words 'Second breakfast' out of the full mouths of my children- they get a good breakfast from me, and I've found out they get a second one at school- because it's free. I don't care if it's free, if it's not good for you! It's all bread and fat and other yummy things like processed chemicals and near plastics- but that doesn't matter to them, because it's filling. And both of them are eating like rabid wolves. What's going to happen this summer when I'll have to feed them all day long?

And here's the bigger question- How am I going to keep these people fed?

Remember the hobbits in the Lord of the Rings? Remember 'elevensies'? That's my son. He'll eat anything not moving, except for the toxic stuff like fruits and vegetables. My daughter on the other hand, will eat what is on her plate and anyone else's- then dive into the fruit and veggies like a maddened rabbit. I don't actually have a problem with this until she dives so deep that she leaves me with nothing but apple cores and orange peels. Then I get grumpy.

And yet both kids aren't fat- Noooo, only the one who gets fat is the one eating the salad for breakfast.

I'm giving serious thought to changing out their dinner plates for mini troughs. It would just save them time using knives and forks, since they suck it down faster than a Dyson on a power surge. I don't think they even need their teeth at this point! Why? Because by the time I get my fork into the first bite, they're done.

Here's what usually happens at mealtime:

Me: (fills the plates and passes them out, then we pray) Okay guys, who wants..
Son: SCHLUUURP!
Daughter: SCHLIP, SCHLOP, MUNCH, GULP!
Me: ...something to....
Son: Can I have seconds?
Daughter: Are you going to eat that, Mom?
Me:...drink?

If you had teens, you know exactly what I'm talking about. If you have teens now, you can empathize. But if you haven't reached this point in your child's life, be forewarned- and stock up now, while you still have money!

By the way, does anyone have a recipe for that elven way-bread? I think I'm going to need it....