Monday, January 14, 2013

God and The Mothers Curse

I've finally found my true link with God.
Sometimes I think to myself, 'Why, oh why did you give me children Lord? Don't You know I'm not a kid person? You're talking to a woman that when pregnant for the first time, was asked what she wanted, and her reply was 'Puppies'. I'm just not one of those at-home mother types that smiles while cleaning diapers and wiping snot from noses.'
Of course I no longer have to do those particular things (amazingly enough, both kids have survived babyhood and are now 14 and 11), but the premise still exists. Why did God decide to do this to me, of all people?
It all started with Adam and Eve. God made them a perfectly good world, and those two went and screwed it up- not just for themselves, but for all of us. After the 'Fruit of the Tree' incident, God got fed up, but instead of just leaving them to their own devices, He said "When you have children, they are going to act exactly the way you two act."
He knew they were going to have kids just like them too. It's a God thing. We can hope, but He knows. God invented the Mothers Curse.
I shake my fist at nothing in particular and yell, 'Why do these people do this to me? Don't they realize I held them in my body way longer than anyone sane would do, fed and nursed them in the wee hours in the morning despite the fact I was a zombie, and offer my incredibly intelligent advice from my life experiences so they can stay out of trouble?'
God smiles because He knows, down through the ages, the Curse has been working overtime. He also reminds me of how I acted when my mother was in charge when my own children act similarly. Not only do my kids think I'm an idiot, I'm also a tyrant- asking way too much of them concerning chores, polite behavior and personal hygiene- but it was exactly how I felt when I was their age. Humph.
But wait- it gets better!
I've been informed by my son that if he has children, I will be called upon for free full-time babysitting while he and his spouse are off to work. Boy, is he in for a surprise! I'll pretend I'm not home or make sure I'm on vacation when that time comes. Then God can remind him of how he acted, and I'll add to the mix with my own wisdom- like, 'If I was such an idiot, do you really want me influencing your kids for that long?'
Of course I'm going to help my kids, but I wouldn't let them know that- it would take all the fun out of being a grandparent!
I know my children will have kids just like them. I hope they have three kids just like them! And I hope I have the wisdom to know when to offer advice, and when not to. But I'll probably do just what my mom did (and every other mom on the planet) and stick my nose into their lives despite their protests- and I hope they appreciate that nosiness later in life. Just like I did.

In the meantime, I'll be spending time with God, because He knew I could handle this parenting thing all along. I just didn't know I could!


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