Monday, June 30, 2014

Commom Sense

No, it's not a misspelling. I said "commom" sense- as in common sense you learn during motherhood.

Things we have learned as a mom (kid ages birth through potty training):

Babies aren't as fragile as we think.
We can handle smells that would fell the biggest, toughest man on the planet.
Avoid anything with yellow mustard- just to be safe.
Your hearing becomes so acute you can hear a gnat sneeze.
You can get away with watching any kiddie shows, as long as you have a toddler with you.
Toddlers teach you to have fun. In the mud. 
Sometimes it's isn't mud they track into the house.
A sleep deprived body can still care for the entire household without falling over- much.
Despite these little people messing up the house and turning us into sleep deprived zombies, we can still love them more than anyone else.

Things we learned as a mom (toilet trained until puberty):

Kids aren't as tough as they think.
Sometimes we get nice smells- like when they pick the neighbors flowerbed clean and hand us a bouquet of flower heads- no stems.
Yellow mustard can now be safely put back onto the menu.
When the noises stop someone is either doing something they shouldn't, they are definitely doing something they shouldn't.
Kids make you change the channel because they are "so over" those shows for babies.
Kids teach you to have fun- by making you run for the ball, Frisbee, or anything else that rolls or flies through the air. 
They still track mud in the house- and by this time, you're glad it's just mud.
When you're sick, the kids are old enough to care for you- as long as you don't look in the kitchen and can live on dry cereal or kibble.
Despite these semi-little people messing up the house and making us exhausted, we can still love them more than anyone else.

Things we learned as a mom (puberty to semi-adulthood)

Even big kids need their Mom.
They enjoy tormenting us with excessive body odor or noxious emissions- girls included.
Anything in a squirt bottle needs to be confiscated, due to ketchup and mustard fights.
No noise is the goal, but silence also means they could be sneaking around and raiding your private stash of snacks.
Watching anything together becomes problematic; your shows are much too boring or silly, and their shows lack any kind of plot or makes sense- unless you've learned astrophysics in third grade like they did.
Teens help you to have fun by programming your multi-media gadgets, yet don't tell you how they programmed it, so you can no longer use it without consulting them.
Mud becomes anathema unless they are heavily involved in sports. The stuff tracked in has now reverted to organic matter, because they were too busy texting on their phones to notice what they stepped in.
Teens have no problem caring for you if you're ill or hurt- as long as you don't ask for anything and enjoy canned soup.
Despite these semi-adult people messing up the house and forcing us into therapy, we can still love them more than anyone else.

As for when these people become adults? I haven't gotten there yet, so I'll have to let you know. My kids are lucky that they survived this long. And yes, I still love them!


Unknown said...

Thanks, Beth, My kids are in the late second and early third stage. The oldest has become a friend and we even share the same taste in books and movies. I hold out hope for the other two.

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